Sébastien is either terrible at reading the mood or determined to make things worse. ‘Oui, I thought so. Perhapseven you, with your leg, can spend a moment in the water?’ He pauses, then turns slightly to me. ‘I assume you swim naked.’
‘No!’ the sharpness of my tone makes him jump a little, but he soon regains his composure.
‘But you must, Hal! It is how nature intended.’
‘Nature might. But I’m sure onlookers would have a different idea.’
Sébastien shakes his head, his hair slightly brushing against my cheek. It smells a little of Sarah’s shampoo and I hope she hasn’t noticed this. I’m already well and truly in the doghouse.
Half an hour later, he seems to settle into more of a silence, probably driven there by the fact that Sarah and I give him very little back. I’m not sure whether it’s Sarah’s reaction to Sébastien that’s causing it, or whether getting to know Sébastien a little more has changed my opinion of him. But I feel more and more on Sarah’s side as the kilometres tick on. I hate myself for inviting this man onto our trip. What a twat.
Sébastien’s head suddenly appears again above the front seat and I almost swerve into an oncoming cyclist. ‘So, you guys, you have a child together,n’est-ce pas?’
‘Yes,’ we say, as sullen as the teenagers we used to be.
‘Then I don’t understand why you are not together!’ He looks from one of us to the other. ‘Sarah, you are beautiful, truly.’ He pauses, ostensibly to receive a gushing thank you which isn’t forthcoming, then continues. ‘And Hal, you seem like a nice guy. And you are rich,non?’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say…’
‘Oh, come on. You own a technology company. This is the stuff of great wealth.’
‘I do OK.’ I try to sound nonchalant, but almost wish Sébastien would push me a little more on this. I always get the impression that Sarah thinks I live on a shoestring, like some sort of eternal student. I realise that my house, my lifestyle,probably don’t reflect this, but I’m well into the six figures when it comes to earnings.
‘Well, then,’ he says, raising his hands briefly in the air as if this were all that was needed for a relationship. Looks and money. Which I suppose is sometimes true. ‘I don’t understand.’
We let this settle. I sense that both Sarah and I are hoping that if we don’t respond, the conversation might just die away. For a moment, I think this has worked. Then: ‘I mean, Sarah,’ he says, leaning forward, ‘do you not find Hal attractive?’
‘Sébastien!’ I say, then, ‘Don’t answer that,’ to Sarah.
‘And Hal, surely you can see that Sarah is beautiful.’
I break my own rule and find myself replying. ‘Well, yeah, of course.’
‘And you like each other?’
‘Sébastien! Drop it!’ I tell him, just as Sarah says, ‘Yes.’
‘Oh.’She likes me? I’m not crazy enough to think that the woman has any romantic feelings for me. But to know that she doesn’t actually hate me, or simply tolerate me, but likes me as a person, is a real boost. Which shows how pathetically needy I am, I guess.
‘Of course I like her!’ I look at Sarah, but she’s gazing out of the window, probably wishing she could simply leap out of the van and disappear over the distant mountains now visible on the horizon.
‘Well then, I do not understand.’ Sébastien, it seems, is completely flummoxed.
‘But you must know there’s more to it than that,’ I say, for some reason unable to drop the subject now he’s started to explore it and, if I’m honest, hoping Sarah might say something else nice about me. ‘I mean, Sarah’s a serious person. She’s organised. Capable. I’m… I mean, I do great in a business sense, but I’m not like her. I’m too… I suppose I’m a bit too laid back.Take things as they come. If we were together, we’d drive each other mad.’
‘Or perhaps you would be perfectly paired,’ Sébastien says. ‘Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle,non? Because two pieces exactly the same, they do not fit together. But if one gives a little and the other reaches out, they can find the perfect bond.’
Despite the fact that this was uttered by a strange, wood-dwelling man who behaves a little like a pet dog, it’s rather profound.
Sébastien’s words hang in the air between us for a moment. I glance over at Sarah, wondering if she might turn and catch my eye, but she’s staring straight ahead now, her head resting on the back of the seat. Her face seems pale, especially considering she’s developing a tan elsewhere, and something about her expression – pinched, troubled – makes something contract in my chest.
‘Are you OK?’ I say quietly to her, and she gives a single nod, eyes still turned away from me.
I want to say more, but Sébastien is here and the last thing I want is for him to decide to dispense medical advice alongside his romantic musings.
We drive on in silence, and I find myself glancing often at Sarah’s profile. Because it’s probably just her annoyance at Sébastien showing on her face, but I can’t help thinking that something else is wrong.
After a little while, she starts sending something on her phone and I assume she’s once again working on one of her cases. I’m not sure how she can concentrate in the van and maybe she can’t, as after a moment, she lets out a little sigh-like gasp and puts the phone, face down, next to her.