"You have a game tonight."
"They do," I say, slow to stare straight ahead while Mateo crowds my side. "I'm not sure I'll make it in time."
"Taylor's okay with that?"
"Okay enough."
"What did you tell him?"
I turn then, unwilling to spend too much time looking at people who might decide to look back. "Death in the family."
"You never even met her," Mateo says, and it sounds like an accusation no matter how softly it falls from his tongue.
"I'm sorry."
He nods. Whether it's an acceptance of my apology or not, I know he understands I'm referring to more than a single missed opportunity. We've sacrificed a lot more than that, mostly because I've silently demanded it or very loudly pleaded.
"Are you coming to the reception?"
"I don't think that would be a good idea," I huff, only adding to the list of things to be sorry for. Then I pick at the scab. "Who were you talking to?"
"When? Just before I came over here and found you with your eyes closed?"
"Obviously."
I half expect him to tease me for being jealous again. He sighs and hurts me instead. "Logan."
"Logan, as in the guy you slept with?"
"Logan, as in the guy I slept with," he confirms. "For what it's worth, he's here as my grandparents' longtime neighbor more than as a friend I once fucked."
"Once?"
"Once, general past event. Notonce, specific event count."
"Neighbor?"
"He lives across the street."
I stop myself from growling. "So you saw him this past summer?"
"Saw him, yes. Spent time with him, yes. Only ended up in bed with you."
"Is he going to the reception?" I ask.
"Probably," Mateo says. "Does that change your plans?"
"No. I'm still Jameson Sinclair."
"That you are."
Rubbing my tired eyes makes nothing any clearer. "I know you said you wished I could be here, but I—should I have stayed with the team?"
"I always want you with me more than I want you with the team.Always," he hisses, dark eyes on fire under the cool December sky. "It just sucks that this is the one time you made it happen."
That's probably fair, and I drop my head back to stare at the sky. "I'll try to make it happen on a better day."
"Stop."