“Did you put your money on lover or love child?”
“Neither.”
“Good,” Darren says. “She’s a friend of mine. Works at a diner I go to a lot. And the kid who came out right before I said goodbye? That was her younger brother, River.”
“They were at urgent care. Is everything all right?”
“Mmmm, their mom sprained her ankle pretty badly, and they—” He frowns and shrugs. “Money’s tight in their family, so Sage was panicking about her mom’s job, and her own, and howto help with her younger siblings, and I—I don’t know, I just tried to calm her down. It’ll be hard on them for a while.”
I nod. “Whatever you said worked, at least for a moment.”
“I hope so. She won’t ask for more, so I’ll have to get clever about that later.”
“She looked over at us. Dare I ask what she knows?”
Darren laughs. “I might’ve told her I was hanging out with a musician, a coworker, my ex-husband, his new man, and the friend I’m fucking now.”
“That almost sounds like the start of a joke.”
It’s supposed to make him laugh again, and I’m almost positive I’m trying to smile, but his hands slowly drop from beneath mine and his fingertips drag against the front of my jeans before he takes a step back. I can hear everyone else coming, and I do the best I can to breathe normally while Darren stares at me like he and I are the only ones in West Hollywood tonight.
“Doesn’t feel like a joke at all.”
Nobody ends up in a bathroom with a stranger that night.
All of us are at Trailhead for Supine’s very successful debut.
When Darren goes to San Diego for his mom’s birthday, I go to Phoenix for another work thing, a conference that would’ve kept me from joining him even if I’d been asked.
We’ve talked a lot about how much he planned to tell—orask—his mom about Drew, but as far as I know, he hasn’t decided. While we’re both busy, none of our conversations last long enough for me to bring it up again, our texts limited to friendly flirting and pictures he might’ve sent anyone. I’m of the opinion that she should know what’s going on, but maybe I’m a biased parent intent on keeping my own secrets while wanting Lucy to be comfortable enough to share all of hers.
Of course, I’m ignoring that even welcome secrets can have sharp edges, the small cuts from them unnoticed until something otherwise benign makes them sting. I also don’t dwell on the very different versions of single parenthood at play. Darren’s mom and I may have plenty in common now, but I didn’t raise my child alone.
I’m home from my trip a couple of hours before trivia night, and I miss being at Trailhead. I really, really do. But if I’m honest with myself, I’m also tired and grouchy and bad company for anyone, even and especially my friends.
I send Darren an apology.
He hasn’t told me anything about San Diego, and I haven’t asked.
I think about his friend, Sage, and whether she knows more than I do.
Darren says he hopes to see me next week, and I miss him too much to tell him so.
When trivia night rolls around again, I have a Guinness in my hand just as the host asks the first question.
“What song, whose title appears within the lyrics of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’ knocked Queen’s hit from the number one place on the UK singles chart?”
After a brief pause, I leave my beer on the coaster and scribble my response. Around me, I can see people quickly singing to themselves, a task complicated by the low hum of music and energetic chatter, but a few seem to figure it out. When I meet Darren’s eyes, I know he has.
Noah elbows me expectantly, so I sing just enough ABBA for him to get it. For a moment, I worry Darren is making plans to get me to karaoke night when he licks his lips and stares a little too long, but he slips away to grab a bottle for someone else, and I’m not sure I would’ve come up with a good excuse to avoid it anyway.
The host interrupts me before I think too hard about that.
“Who was the first woman to hostSaturday Night Live?”
“Oh, I actually know this one!” Noah squeaks, clutching my arm just as Darren returns. “It’s Candice Bergen. My mom loves her.”
I smile at how easily he gives away the answer, though it’s one I could’ve handled just fine on my own. I jot down my response, and even knowing it might make me miss the next question, I use the opportunity to finally ask mine.