“Turnabout is fair play?”
Darren smiles where I can feel it. “Ah, because of the ‘baby’ thing.”
I comb a sticky hand through his hair and hold him steady when we kiss again, something we’ve done far more over the past few weeks than I would’ve guessed the night he knelt in front of my broken body and asked to be my first. It feels good, and it’s the best way to keep me exactly where I am, Darren’s mouth so damn gentle when years of innuendo at Trailhead might’ve made me suspect the opposite. He doesn’t have to keep me here, and I won't stay forever, but neither one of us wants to crawl away from this bed we’ve made.
At some point, the condom is gone. Soft sheets do what they can to wipe us clean. When they fail, Darren wordlessly drags me into the bathroom and kisses me until the shower runs hot enough to soothe or scald. Under the water, I nuzzle his jaw and my lips skate over the goosebumps on his neck.
“It just came out.Sweetheart. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Okay.”
I back up and raise an eyebrow. “Is it?”
“Stop worrying about the reasons it wouldn’t be.”
There are a lot, and Darren knows it, but he doesn’t elaborate and I don’t ask him to—he only plays dumb for tips, and I’ve never made a habit of it in the first place. He cradles my face and kisses me instead, and I want nothing more than for that to be okay, too.
When the moment has passed, we both wash and rinse and dry, and still naked, Darren moves to strip his bed and throw thedirty pile to the floor. I go in search of my clothes, strewn from there to here, and I’ve only just picked up my boxers when he catches my wrist and I close my eyes.
“You know you can sleep naked, right? I’m just gonna grab clean sheets and then we can crash.”
“I know. And if I were going to stay, I’d sleep naked with you.”
“If,” he echoes.
I nod and start to get dressed. “We haven’t spent the night together yet.”
“And you’re superstitious about sex?”
“That sounds like more of a Beau thing,” I tease, my smile small and sleepy. “I just figured everything has been going well between us, and there’s no reason for me to sneak out silently in the morning when I can say a proper goodbye right now.”
It’s Darren’s turn to nod, but he’s quiet long enough that I find my jeans before he speaks. “If I ask you something, will you answer it honestly?”
“I haven’t lied to you before.”
“Are you leaving because of anything that happened tonight?”
“No,” I say, and it’s as simply honest as I can be. “I’m leaving so I can sleep in my bed while you sleep in yours. That’s all.”
I turn away from him then, moving through his small house to finish what I’ve started, and Darren gives me space, making his bed without bothering to find something to wear. It’s late, but he’s used to this, and I don't know how much longer he might stay up once I’m gone. Of course, I’m in no rush to rid myself of the image of him sprawled naked across his bed while he watchessome terrible tv show or scrolls through a dozen apps on his phone.
I’ll be asleep within minutes of walking through my front door, but I might as well have pleasant dreams.
Eventually, Darren meets me for the goodbye I’ve promised, his hands all over me and my sweater. “Text me when you get home.”
“I will.”
“And thank you for riding the bull with me.”
I shrug and reach for his jaw, leaning close enough to brush my lips over his. “Had to do it before we ran out of time.”
“A lot of things are like that, aren’t they?”
Nothing I can say will answer that rhetorical well, so I kiss him instead, deeply enough for both of us to forget I’m leaving. For two people I’d never describe as being clingy, we almost hold on too long, friendship passed from tongue to tongue until one of us pushes away and the other sighs with anything but relief.
“Goodnight, Darren.”
“’Night, Jake.”