“Drew was never a—”
“Oh, of course. Here we go. Drew was never a parent. Butyouare, and you do it the correct way. You’ve loved correctly and grieved correctly. Do you even hear how self-righteous you are? You’re a sanctimonious dick. Stop acting like you’re perfect, Jake.”
That knocks the wind out of me, and I scan the backyard again, the joint back in my hand. “I’m not perfect.”
Adrian snorts. “Yeah,Iknow that. Try telling Beau and Darren and Noah and everyone else craning their necks to get a good view of you on that pedestal.”
“I don’t want to be on a pedestal.”
The way he looks at me is almost painfully disarming. “Then climb the fuck down.”
“Okay, yeah,” I sigh, done with smoking for now and dropping my head back to stare at the stars for a while. “I think they’ll always touch each other like that, right? It’s who they are. But it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
“What did Darren tell you about the morning Beau broughthim breakfast?”
There’s a giant splash in the pool, followed by laughter. I blink stupidly at the night. Maybe it’s the weed, but I don’t think so. “I didn’t know Beau brought him breakfast. Was it recently?”
“Nah, at least a couple of months ago.”
“Okay. What did I miss?”
“Well, I can’t spoilallthe fun,” Adrian says. I’m still looking at the stars, but he must want more of my attention because I feel his foot against my thigh, and it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as I want it to. When I drop my head and meet his eyes, he continues. “They were talking about you—or you and Darren, I guess. Whatever. Obviously you guys haven’t gone public with it yet.”
“Now you’re telling a story wrong,” I quip, as dry as I’ve ever been.
Adrian’s foot applies more pressure to my leg. “Anyway, Darren was dodging feelings or something, and Beau cornered him in the kitchen, and Darren was clinging to him, and Beau was touching him back, and they had a whole fucking moment about it.”
“How far did they go?”
“They almost kissed, but that was it.”
“And since you weren’t there, I assume Beau told you this.”
“Yeah, when I got home that night,” Adrian says.
“You’ve very pointedly accused me of thinking I’m correct about everything, and this is the worst possible way to refute that, but I really don’t think you need to worry about them,” Imurmur, wrapping my hand around his bare ankle. “You and I both remember what it’s like to say goodbye too soon, but they—they’ve still got each other, and I won't begrudge them a few moments that I’ll never have again.”
Adrian sighs and slides his hand over mine. “You know he loves you, right?”
“I do and I don’t,” I admit. Until I talk to Darren, it’s the best I can do. “But you know Beau loves you.”
“It’s not always enough, though. Loving someone.”
“No, it’s not. So, I suppose you’ll just have to trust that this sanctimonious dickisactually correct once in a while.”
“God forbid,” he groans.
There’s a knock at my bedroom door then, and I turn to find Darren leaning against the frame. The distance he’s kept suggests he doesn’t want to intrude, but I think Adrian and I have said as much as we plan to tonight, and we pull away from each other and stand without needing to confirm it. We both return to my bedroom, but I stop a few feet away from Darren and just barely catch Adrian’s wrist before he can leave.
“I’ll start climbing down, okay?”
Adrian smiles and slips free just to squeeze my hand. “I’ll buy you a drink when you reach the ground.”
“What the fuck was that about?” Darren asks as soon as Adrian is gone. “Did you get him high?”
“I got both of us high. How else were we gonna take the edge off while he was being very Adrian and I was being very Jake?”
“Okay, yeah, I don’t think I actually need to know anymore than that. I was a little worried when I saw you up here, but—”