I smile at him. “Breathe, baby. Just breathe.”
He nods furiously, his eyes wet and filled with wonder. “She’s okay with it, with us. She’s okay with us, Caleb.”
“That’s good. That’s really good, sweetheart.” I rest my forehead against his. He trembles against me, and I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight. “And she’s okay with not telling your dad until we do?”
“Yeah, she is.”
“Good. I’m glad. Did she…”
Kayden instantly reads my mind because he stiffens in my arms. “She says Dad will probably freak out at first, but that he’ll come around. When he sees how much—” His voice breaks, and his hands move to my chest,fisting my shirt.
“How much we love each other,” I finish for him, and he nods, his breath hot on my face.
“Yes.”
“I hope she’s right.”
“Me too. I’m scared. Like, really fucking scared, Caleb.”
“I know, baby. I am too, but it will be okay.” I catch his lips in a kiss, and he hums against me, opening for me. I dip my tongue inside his mouth, trying to pour everything I feel for him into our kiss. All the reassurance and faith I have that everything will be alright in the end. I slide my hands up his body, wrapping them around his neck, tilting his head so I can kiss him deeper. He whimpers around my tongue as I invade his mouth, and he grows slack against me. I tighten the pressure around his neck, and he groans softly, his hips shifting against mine wantonly. Once again, everything settles inside me as how I feel about Kayden surges to the surface. Feelings that have lain dormant my entire life, just waiting for him to pull them from me with his generous smiles and his huge heart and his infinite faith in me. He clings to me, swallowing behind my hand, small noises spilling from him, invading all of my senses.
Eventually, we break away for air, and Kayden pants against me, swaying on his feet. “Wow,” he sighs, intoxicated, a blissful smile adorning his lips.
“Still scared?”
He chuckles. “No, just horny.”
A loud laugh shoots from my chest, and I press a quick, hard kiss against his lips. “Good. Horny is way better than scared.”
He giggles until his voice spills over into a groan, and he starts rubbing his crotch against my thigh. “Ugh, are you ever gonna fuck me, Caleb?” Fuck, I want to, so badly, but something’s holding me back, and I can’t quite pinpoint what it is. Kayden has asked me to more than once. Last time was when I had my tongue in his ass. I keep telling myself that he’s not ready yet, but deep down I know it’s bullshit. I’m the one who isn’t ready, I think. Not because I don’t want him. I’m dying to have him in that way.
“Ihavefucked you,” I deflect, easing him away from me, moving back toward the fridge. “Sex isn’t just one thing.”
He huffs at me, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You know what I mean. I’m talking aboutyourdick inmyass, Caleb. You know that’s what I mean, what I want.”
I rest my forehead against the cool surface of the fridge, groaning. “Fuuuck.”
“What?”
“I think we should wait.”
“Why?” He moves up behind me, placing his palms against my back, and I instantly feel the connection. The warmth from his body, the way my breath catches in my throat from his hands on me. “Why, Caleb?”
And suddenly I know the answer. It’s clear as daylight. It’s so easy to be vulnerable with him because he always is with me. “Because I’m afraid,” I admit, squeezing my eyes tight. Kayden’s hand moves to the nape of my neck, and he trails his fingers through my hair tenderly.
“I’m afraid too. But we can’t let fear limit us or follow us through life.”
“What are… what are you afraid of?” I ask, my heart in my throat.
“That you’ll do what you always do. That you’ll fuck me, then pull away from me.” His honesty blows my mind, and I can’t be anything but honest with him in return. Turning around, my eyes find his. He looks at me with nothing but openness and love, so much fucking love.
“I’m afraid of that too.”
He nods carefully. “Will you? Will you fuck me, then leave me, Caleb?” Fuck, I’m so in awe of this man, of his courage. And just like the stroke of a magic brush, all my fears and doubts fall away; the only thing left is the truth.
“No, I won’t. I’d never do that.” My eyes sting, and I want to drop to my knees right here and now and pledge my eternal love to him like they do in the fucking movies.
“You won’t,” he says, his faith in me apparently limitless. “You would never do that.”