I shake my head at him, but then he sobers, his face serious, when he continues, “I can’t wait until the day when that special someone is gonna knock you face-first off your feet. It’s gonna happen, you know, and I’m gonna be right fucking there with a big fat ‘Itold you so’ and a bottle of bubbles.”
“Yeah, well, don’t hold your breath.” I’m so fucking screwed. Kayden and I need to come up with a plan, and fast. We need to tell his parents, so we don’t have this dark cloud looming over us. I hate lying to Sal. He’s a good man, and I don’t want Kayden having to lie to his parents either. They’ve always had this open and honest relationship, and I’d hate for him to compromise that. Today, after work, I’ll take him for a ride down the coast, and we’ll come up with a plan before everything explodes in our faces.
“There you go,” I say, placing a forced smile on my face. “All signed and sealed.”
“Cool.” Sal moves around the desk to where I’m sitting, then bends down and hugs me fiercely. “Love you, man.”
“Love you too, Sal.” My throat burns with emotion. “Now get the fuck off me,” I laugh, pushing him away.
He grins. “Then get the fuck outta my chair.”
I ease out of Sal’s chair, and I’m halfway toward the door when he calls out after me. “Oh, Caleb?” I turn around and find Sal frowning at me.
“What?”
He cards his hands through his hair, and for a second, I think he knows about Kayden and me. Then he smiles softly. “I just wanted to thank you for how you’ve made Kayden’s homecoming so much easier.”
I swallow, then nod slowly. “It’s nothing.”
“No, it’s everything. You’ve been a really good friend. Both to me and Viv, but also to Kayden. The way you’ve taken him under your wing…” Sal wipes a hand across his face. “It’s something I’ll always remember. Something I’ll always be grateful for.” He pauses, and I don’t know what to say. Part of me wants to come clean here and now. Just tell him the truth, then drop to my knees and beg him not to hate me. “Kayden… he doesn’t have a lot of friends. And Emily… well, she’s so far away. I’m really grateful he has you, Caleb.”
Grateful.There’s that word again. Will Sal still be grateful when we come clean and tell him we’re in love?
“I’d do anything for him,” I rasp, clenching my fists before I confess everything and tell Sal what’s in my heart. How it’s filled to the brim and spilling over with my love for Kayden. How every conscious and unconscious thought is consumed with him and him alone. How it’s hard to breathe when he’s not around, and even harder to catch my breath when he is. How Kayden is the light in my life, and that I hope he always will be, because I need him like I need the fucking sun.
“I know you would. Just wanted you to know.”
I nod, then turn around.
“Dad, did you see the—”
Kayden almost bumps into me as he comes flying through the open office door. The smile freezes on his face when he sees me, then something flashes through his eyes. Warmth. Longing. A little trace of panic. I smile back at him.
“Well, when you talk of the sun,” Sal says, and the panic in Kayden’s eyes increases. I try to convey reassurance, and he relaxes a little. “Come here, kiddo,” Sal says, and Kayden moves past me, his familiar scent washing over me, bringing me back to last night, when I watched him fall asleep in my arms as I listened to his breathing even out. My body aches with the phantom feel of him, and my fingers itch to grab him and pull him against me. Kayden passes me in what seems like slow motion, my body so attuned to his that every atom comes alight with want. He’s so breathtakingly beautiful that he steals my breath right out of my lungs. He smiles at me tenderly, a barely there movement of his lips, his eyes mirroring the same kind of longing that inhabits my heart.Soon, I mouth, and he blushes, then dips his gaze to the floor as he heads toward his dad.
“We need a plan,” I say at the same time as Kayden blurts, “This is pure fucking torture!” We grin at each other, then laugh as I weave my fingers through his. I’m dying to wrap him in my arms and kiss him senseless, but we’re still parked in front of the shipyard. “Sneaking around is overrated,” Kayden groans, squeezing my fingers to the point of pain. “They always make it seem so sexy and fun in the movies, but it’s bullshit. Fucking bullshit.”
“I know. Let’s get outta here.”
We drive up the coast listening to Kayden’s favorite band,The Emberline.He told me about them a while back when he was home from school for the weekend, and we went for a ride. How the lead vocalist, Silas Reed, is trans and the same age as Kayden, and how much he was hoping they’d come to Boston one day, but that it wasn’t likely since they’re from Seattle.
Kayden’s fingers are still tangled through mine, the low purr fromMarilyn’sengine the only sound. After twenty minutes, I pull down a small dirt road that leads to a secluded stretch of land with a handful of old, abandoned fishermen’s cottages. A developer from Colchester bought it recently for some fancy new ocean-view condos, but they haven’t started construction yet since a petition was submitted to the local council by an environmental organization.
“Such a shame,” Kayden murmurs, eyeing the large billboard with an image of how the future condos are going to look. They’ll stand out against the pristine landscape like a sore thumb, but it’s happening more and more these days: outside contractors moving in and removing the last remnants of history from our community. It’s sad.
I lean in and rub at the frown between Kayden’s brows. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”
He smiles at me, then presses his lips against mine. “Shit, I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” he moans, halfway into my lap.
“Me too,” I hum. “Shit, baby, when you walked into your dad’s office… You nearly killed me.”
He squirms in my arms, linking his hands behind my neck, his hot breath fanning across my face. “You nearly killed me, too, Caleb.”
“Fuck, I want you so bad, but we need to figure out what we’re gonna do.”
“I know.”
We walk hand in hand along the deserted beach. The ocean is wild today, with a brisk wind blowing in from the east. The blue sky is dotted with clouds in various shades of gray, the sun peeking through from time to time, teasing gold from Kayden’s hair.