“Itishappening.” And then his hands are there, framing my face, his eyes swimming with want.
“I said that out loud?” I whisper.
“You did, baby.”
Baby.
He leans in and brushes his nose against mine.
“Please.”
My plea elicits a deep groan from Caleb’s throat. “Fuck, Kayden.”
He lines kisses across my cheekbones, and I squirm because it tickles so fucking good. I’ve never had anyone touch me this way before, with such careful intent and tenderness. I close my eyes and tip my head back, taking it all in. Intrusive thoughts circle around me, trying to penetrate my bubble of peace, but I push them back. I won’t allowthem to ruin something I’ve been wanting for weeks, to taint a moment that is perfect. Well, almost perfect, because Caleb keeps avoiding my mouth. He’s scattering kisses along my forehead now, his fingers carding through my hair.
“Caleb.”
“Hmmm.”
“Please kiss me.”
“Iamkissing you.”
I groan. “You know what I mean.”
He stops kissing me and instead rests his forehead against mine. His eyes are closed and his breath fans against my lips. “I know.” He eases away from me, blinking his eyes open. He continues to hold my face, his thumbs brushing back and forth across my cheeks. He swallows, his eyes serious. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, K.”
“You’re not.”
“Aren’t I?”
“No!” I push away from him. “I’m not a little kid, Caleb. Jesus.” I slump my shoulders, mumbling, “I don’t want your fucking pity, Caleb.”
He freezes, then wraps his hands around my wrists, pulling me back against him. “Is that what you think, K? That I fucking pity you? Sweetheart, I feel a lot of things for you, but pity isn’t one of them. Not even fucking close, you hear me?”
I nod slowly. I’m not sure I believe him. The air is charged, waves of energy moving back and forth between him and me, and I don’t know what to do with myself.
Eventually, Caleb lets go of my wrists, keeping a little space between us. I feel instantly cold. He wipes his hands along his face, mumbling something unintelligible.
“Caleb?”
An outdrawn sigh leaves his body, then he holds out his hand, and I grab it in a heartbeat. He tangles his fingers through mine and pulls me close. “Come here.” He wraps his other arm around me, and I instantly feel safe again. “I mean it. I don’t want to take advantage of you, Kayden.”
“You’re not.”
Caleb chuckles bitterly. “Oh, there’s a real possibility that I am. You’re vulnerable right now, and I…”
“What?” I brush my fingers through his wild bangs, and he looks up at me.
“I’m trying to be really fucking good here, K. I’m trying to… shit, I’m trying really fucking hard not to do what I usually do. What Ialwaysdo.”
I twirl my index finger around a lock of hair, then tuck it behind his ear like he’s done to me a thousand times. “And what is that?” I say, holding my breath.
“Putting myself first. Putting my own needs before everyone else’s.”
His words make me angry because, fuck, is that really how Caleb sees himself? “That’s bullshit,” I say.
“It’s not. Not really.” There’s a resignation in his voice I’ve never heard before.