“What’s tomorrow?” Dad asks. I can’t seem to find my voice, but luckily Caleb does.
“I was gonna take Kayden down to the garden center. You know, Kelly’s place. They’re having a sale, and Kayden sure could use some furniture for his balcony. You know, a table and some chairs and stuff. Maybe some pots too for some flowers or whatever. Some of those outdoor lights. LED.” Caleb’s rambling, like full-on rambling, and he’s getting a little flustered, too. Maybe he isn’t as unaffected after all. Perhaps it isn’t just me who felt something shifting between us the other night. Maybe he felt it too, and that was why he left so abruptly.
Just when I’m about to make up some bullshit excuse, Dad says, “That’s a great idea. You can take our company van. Kelly has some greatstuff. If you see some of those cerulean ceramic pots that your mom has in the front yard, then grab some, will you? I think the frost this winter left some of them a little cracked.”
I nod slowly, while Caleb snorts, “Cerulean. What the hell, Sal? Are you taking an art class down at the community center?”
“Fuck you! That’s the damn color!” Dad hisses, but Caleb just laughs even harder.
I realize I can’t really get out of it now. I mean, I just told Dad that I didn’t have any weekend plans, so turning Caleb down would be downright rude and would just cause Dad to wonder what the hell is up with me.
“Sure,” I mumble. “Sounds good.” I twist my hands in my lap. They’re all clammy, and perhaps I really am coming down with something. I kind of hope that I am because then I’d have a proper excuse for not going tomorrow. Then again, knowing Caleb, he’d probably come by with chicken soup or something like that, and the last thing I want is him in my space for the foreseeable future.
Caleb smiles at me crookedly as he tugs at his tie. “Cool. I’ll pick you up at nine tomorrow, how does that sound?”
Like sheer and utter torture. Like fucking hell on earth. But I obviously can’t say that. Not with Dad sitting right next to me. “Perfect. It sounds perfect.”
“Perfect,” Caleb repeats, pulling off the tie and slinging it over his broad shoulder like a rebellious boarding school kid. Sweat beads along my forehead at the sight, and my mouth goes dry the second he starts unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt, revealing inches of smooth, tanned skin and a patch of dark hair. Oh God, I fucking love chest hair. I only have a sparse smattering myself, but I love it. I bet it’s really soft too. It looks soft. I bet—
“I gotta go!” I blurt, bolting from the stool. It wobbles ominously, and Dad reaches out to steady it, eyeing me curiously. “I just forgot I have to…” I search for something, anything, but it’s like my mind has gone completely blank, still lost somewhere in that dark patch of hair. I can’t put a single meaningful sentence together to save my life. I gesture with my hands, and Caleb stares at me, trouble building in his eyes. “There’s this… So you know…” I shrug, feeling my cheeks growing pinker by the second.
Caleb cracks his neck from side to side and sighs deeply. “Ahhh, that’s what I’m talking about. Damn tie. I hate it. Why do you make me wear it, Sal? Ties are only good for one thing.” He waggles his eyebrows, and I can only imagine what that one thing is, although I shouldn’t. Isoshouldn’t.
Dad laughs. “You’re such a baby, Caleb. Get over yourself.”
Now that they seem to have forgotten about me, I make my way past Caleb, keeping some space between us. Our gazes meet briefly as I pass him.
“See you tomorrow, Lil’ K,” he drawls, then winks. I just glare at him, then hurry out the door, Dad’s “Jeez, Caleb, leave the kid alone,” following me down the stairs.
Yes, leave me alone, Caleb. Leave me alone. Because I don’t recognize myself when I’m around you. I don’t trust my body or my mouth. Isuddenly want things that I have no business wanting, like your lips on my lips, or in other places where I just know they’d feel so fucking good. So, please just leave me alone, Caleb, because I’ll never run out of reasons why it would be a mistake of fucking epic proportions if something happened between us.
Chapter Eight
Caleb
Your designated driver is here
I frown at my phone as I wait in front of Kayden’s apartment building. I watch the small dots on the screen as they appear, then disappear again. Should I have gone up and knocked instead? That would have been weird, wouldn’t it? Besides, all the parking spaces are either occupied or too small for the company van. After a few seconds, he replies, and I relax again.
K:I’ll be right down
I wipe my hands along my face as I try to get my nerves to settle. My leg bounces and I will it to stop, but seconds later, it’s bouncing up and down again. I’m excited to see Kayden. It feels like forever since we’ve hung out, and I miss him. I rub at my chest, letting the feeling settle. I’m not really a sentimental guy, but Ihavemissed Kayden, his shy smiles, and those blue eyes on me. I’m glad he still wants to go. I know I kind of put him on the spot yesterday in Sal’s office, but with the way Kayden’s been avoiding me—because I’m pretty sure he has—I didn’t want to risk him backing out.
I plug my phone into the stereo and pull up one of my playlists. I scroll, not exactly sure what I’m in the mood for. I’m going back and forth between just putting the radio on or leaving it when the door opens and a gush of wind rushes in. There’s a fierce breeze coming in from the ocean today, but it’s not cold, just fresh, and a nice reprieve from the suffocating heat of the last few days.
“Hi,” Kayden says breathily. His gaze flickers and his cheeks are tinged a pale pink, and just like that my nerves are all over the place again. “Sorry I kept you waiting.”
“No worries. Come on.” I gesture next to me, and he briefly lingers in the open car door, then jumps in. He’s wearing a pale yellow T-shirt and comfy-looking jeans, but it’s the mint-green baseball cap that has medoing a double-take. The way it frames his face, with a few wavy locks peeking out in the back. A small silver hoop hangs from one earlobe, and my fingers tingle to touch it. I swallow, my mouth impossibly dry, because damn, he looks great. He’s this mix between boyish innocence and all man; the scent of his cologne spicy, bordering on heavy, and such a contrast to his wide, expectant eyes, and that backward cap.
“What?” he says, eyeing me warily.
“Nothing. I’ve just never seen you wearing a hat before. At least… not since you were little.”
“I wear them all the time.” The blush on his cheeks deepens, and his gaze drops to his hands. I realize that there are many things I don’t know about Kayden, and that I haven’t been a fixed presence in his life for several years. The Kayden I used to know is probably not who he is anymore, or at least notonlywho he is. I realize I’m envious of anyone whodoesknow him. I want to get to know him again. I want to know everything.
“Looks good,” I mumble before it can get weird. Or weirder.
“Thanks.” He looks up and smiles, but before I can lose myself in how blue his eyes are or how full his bottom lip is, I force myself to look at my phone. I blink, my chest squeezing as I read the name of the song a couple of times.Special K. Special. K.I don’t know what the fucking universe is playing at right now, but I’m not sure I like it. All my good intentions fly out the window, and thoughts I have no business having about Kayden emerge in my head, just like they did at his place a week ago. I inhale deeply, forcing them back as I scroll past the song.