“Why not?” I catch Livy eyeing me over her book. My salty roommate likes to pretend she can’t be bothered with other people, but she’s not fooling me.
Still, do I want to confide in her?
“I don’t think she’d want me to.” Okay, maybe I do want to confide in her.
Livy’s brows form a bar over her eyes. “You dumber than those rocks you drool over.”
I roll my eyes. “She gets busy every time I enter a room.”
Livy looks like she knows this already. “Stella’s always busy.”
Truth. But now when I catch her sitting at the kitchen table with her coffee and her laptop, she bolts up from whatever she’s doing and mutters something about needing to unload the dishwasher or switch a load of laundry or take chicken thighs out of the deep freezer in the garage.
On Tuesday when I came in and found her in the mudroom folding Tyler’s clothes, I asked her if we could talk about the possibility of extending my lease through graduation in May, she waved me off and said we didn’t need to talk. She’d send me an email with a new lease agreement and I could sign it electronically. I left her then. The space felt too small, or I felt too big and oafish for it.
I look back at Livy. Her eyes are once again tracking across the page, but I know she hasn’t dropped the thread of our conversation.
“You don’t think she’s avoiding me?”
“Oh, she’s avoiding you, all right.”
Shit.
Yes, I’m attracted to Stella. It took that exchange outside her bedroom for me to realize that it’s probably obvious.
“I guess I need to get a grip.” Watching Stella rush to the sink or beat a hasty exit when I enter a room feels like a fresh kick in the groin every time. “I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”
I won’t cross a line, and I need her to know it.
I can recognize that she’s beautiful, and know that my eyes search for her every time I come downstairs. I can remember the buzz I got when she asked me about the salt mines and when she watched me with Lola. Like carbonated blood coursed through my veins. I can feel the delicious softness of her palm and the way the chunk of turbite held her heat for a few sweet seconds.
I can eat the breakfasts she makes for us and taste gratitude and awe for all she does.
And I can leave her the hell alone.
“Why do you think she’s uncomfortable?” Livy’s leading question is further evidence that she’s going to make a kickass lawyer one day.
I scrub my hands down my face and groan.
“Answer the question.”
Yeah, definite lethal lawyer material. “Because I’m attracted to her.” Exasperation heats my tone.
Livy gives me a disappointed look. “That ain’t why.”
Wait. What?
“Then why is she uncomfortable around me?”
My roommatetskslike my lack of intellect is a damn shame. “‘Causeshe’sattracted toyou.”
I feel my pulse in my dick.
“H-how do you know?”
Livy’s forehead wrinkles, and she gestures with an open palm around the room. “Hello? What is it you think I’m actually doing in here?”
Putting a whole floor between her and Pen. Duh.