Just to have me lose myway?
Why did you tell me all yourstories?
Color all mymemories?
Move into myhead?
If you weren’t gonnastay?
Rainey swallowed as she listened.Kate sang, so she could absorb the words without feeling them slice into her. But then Jacques joined in on the refrain, their voices mingling in a chilling harmony, and his words invaded her like a rebelarmy.
And now there’s nothing Ican say toyou.
You won’t hearme.
You won’t let me have mysay.
You won’t talk tome.
You just chose to runaway.
Rainey squeezed her eyes shut.Kate had introduced the song asnew. Jacques was a songwriter. A good one. Had he written it recently? Rainey wasn’t about to flatter herself with the thought that the song was about her, but such denial didn’t keep a mantle of guilt from weighing her down. He really deserved better than to be coldly ignored. Would it have been so bad to tell him that she loved spending time with him, but that they’d never workout?
It would feel good to apologize to him, she realized. Then she wouldn’t have to carry the guilt of wronging him. All she’d have left to bear would be the loss of him. Of course, in her life, the loss of someone who liked her when he didn’t have to, who wanted to be with her, who drew her out of herself, and who could stop her breath with his kiss was no small loss. Apologizing wouldn’t make everything better, but it wouldhelp.
She’d almost summoned the courage to send him a text when the song ended. The crowd came over the radio with cheers and applause, and then Jacques’s lone voice filled herears.
“Thanks, everyone. Happy Festival! Let’s hear it for all thoserunners!”
A roaring crowd swallowed hiswords.
“We’d like to thank y’all for coming out here to support our runners and to support Festival International. We’d also like to give a shout out to our Scène Fais Do Do sponsors. You help keep Festivalfree.”
Rainey smiled as she listened. Jacques’s showmanship was second nature. The best part about it was how genuine and at ease he was with the crowd. He never stumbled. He sounded overjoyed, and she could almost see him smiling, completely at home in his element. Anyone watching Heroine for the first time today would walk away afan.
“In case this is the first time you’ve seen us, I’m Jacques. That’s Kate on guitar, Des on bass, and Kara on the keyboard, and we’re Heroine. Kara, take itaway.”
Seven notes on the piano opened the song and told a story before guitars folded in, and the overture replayed. Rainey listened, leaning into the beautiful sound, picturing the band on stage just off Jefferson Street. And then Jacques ripped heropen.
“I didn’t take your picture… It’s something that I still regret,”he sang with the seven-note movement.“I guess it doesn’t matter. ‘Cause there’s no way I could forget… The fall of your hair… The smile on your face… The way your eyes are like lightnin’ in a bottle. How could I forget… the girl with rain in hername?”
“Oh my God!” she gasped aloud. Beside her, Holi rolled over in her sleep, but Rainey couldn’t help herself as Jacques’s voice became a fist around herheart.
“Girl, I don’t even know you… And still your voice it speaks to me… I see your skin in moonlight… I taste your lips inmemories…”
Tears blurred her vision as she listened, so she closed her eyes and felt Jacques’s mouth on hers, the way it made her feel claimed and wanted and beautiful all atonce.
“That time you beat North… I felt like a king… I knew you’d be with me tomorrow…”As he sang, he drew out the line like a vow.“Who made me a fool? The girl with rain in hername.”
Rainey covered her face and broke open, sobbing freely. How could she have thought a text could absolve her? She’d made him feel like fool. So much so, he’d written a song aboutit!
Mercifully, the band moved the song through an instrumental bridge while Rainey mopped her face and got her breathing under control, but her composure didn’t lastlong.
“And, so, where does this leave me?... My arms have never felt so bare… Hell, you won’t even see me… And, yet, somehow I think youcare.”
Rainey held her breath, her lungs hiccupping still as her sobs tried to wrest back control. How much of this was true? Did he somehow know how much she cared? How could thatbe?
“The time that we had… It can’t just be me… Who would dare to turn their back onmagic?