He tugged her to the foot of his bed, and without any idea what to say, she followed and sat. Gray settled beside her, but she could only stare at her feet.
“I’m sorry,” he began. “I have no right to pry. I just want to know what you need. And if it’s something I can give you, I want to.”
Meredith met his eyes. He was so good. Had she ever met a man who was so good? “Time,” she said. “I just need time.”
Gray frowned as if this wasn’t the answer he was hoping for, but he nodded. “What would time give you?”
She let go a long breath. “I want you to know that I don’t have feelings for him, but I can’t be with someone while I’m living with Jamie,” she said, forcing herself not to look away. “Eventually, I’ll be able to get a place for me and Oscar.”
“So it’s a matter of money?”
Meredith shrugged. “Yeah.”
“I have money,” Gray said, his face so serious. His eyes never leaving hers. “A lot, actually.”
“I can’t take your money.” Meredith shook her head. “If that’s what you’re suggesting—”
“It’s what I’m suggesting. And why not? There’s nothing wrong with accepting help from a friend.”
“No.” Meredith put a hand to her head. Working for him was one thing. But living off his money? Sometimes living with Jamie made her feel like a whore, but at least he was responsible for part of her mess. As the father of her child, he owed her something. If she took Gray’s money so she could leave the McCormicks and be with him, she’d be nothing better than a concubine.
Hell no. She had to have her freedom. When she moved out, she needed to do it on her own. She needed to be able to support herself and Oscar. She needed to prove to herself that she’d never have to feel the way she felt lying beneath Jamie. Ever again.
Meredith shuddered. “No,” she said again.
The room fell silent for a moment, but Gray’s grip on her hand never slackened. “Okay,” he said, finally. “I’ll wait.”
Her eyes shot to his. It was the last thing in the world she’d expected him to say. “What?”
Gray shrugged, a smile tipping up the corners of his lips. “I’ll wait.”
Meredith stared at him, wonder replacing shock as she saw that he was completely serious. “Other women wouldn’t make you wait.”
His grin grew. “I’m not interested in other women. I’m interested in you.” He still smiled, but something in his eyes changed. “I shouldn’t be. Not only am I your boss, and it’s a bad idea to harass people who work for you, I’m too old for you. And to top it off, I can’t even take you out on a date… and I don’t care.”
He spoke with a tease in his tone, but that was just on the surface. He’d obviously wrestled with these doubts, just as she’d wrestled with her own. Meredith squeezed his hand.
“Well, first of all, you’re not harassing me. In fact, youasked permissiontokiss me,”she said, blushing even as she smiled at the memory. “And I said yes—”
Gray shook his head, but his eyes were smiling again. “You didn’t really say yes. You just nodded.”
“That’s the universal nonverbal for yes,” she said waving away his dispute. “And about the age thing, having a kid adds like ten years. Trust me on this. So, really, I’m older than you.”
Gray laughed, and Meredith felt a flood of relief. Was she really talking him out of his objections? Why, when she wasn’t free to be with him?
“I said Ishouldn’tbe interested. But I am. So stay. That’ll make waiting a lot easier.”
Her heart thumped hard. Could she really work for him and not give in? Knowing how he felt? Knowing he knew how she felt?
It would be far from easy. But she couldn’t walk away, either. Even if she had a better job offer, which she didn’t.
And if she pushed what she felt aside, she’d be able to live with herself until she could make the changes she wanted to make in her life.
“I’ll stay,” she said. “But I have no idea how to make this work.”
“Me either.”
They stared at each other in silence, their hands still joined, and Meredith wondered if she’d ever be able to stop thinking about that kiss.