“Oh, thank you. Bless you.” As he gave her his address, Summer took into account how far it was from her home in West Hollywood. Two hours at least, but strangely, she was glad for it. Summer was in no hurry to be at her own apartment, all alone with her thoughts.
On the drive to San Bernardino, she thought of the name he’d mentioned. Linda. From her months-long immersion in all things Cooper/LeRoy, Summer knew that Linda had been the name ofGabriel LeRoy’s mother. Following her son’s death, she’d declined a number of interviews—one with Barbara Walters—before subsequently disappearing off the face of the earth. Two years ago, she’d died a recluse, her body found in a shack in the desert—a place she’d bought years earlier, just a half mile away from the Gideon compound, where her son had burned to death.
It was probably just a coincidence, though, Reg saying the name. There were a lot of people called Linda, after all.
Thirty-Four
June 20, 1976
2:00A.M.
Dear Aurora Grace,
I dreamed I shot Officer Nelligan again. I watched him fall and bleed and die, just like before, and I felt awful. Sick to my stomach. Only when I got closer to the body and looked at his face, I saw that it hadn’t been Officer Nelligan at all. I’d shot Gabriel.
7:30A.M.
Dear Aurora Grace,
Gabriel is angry. All morning, he has been pacing around our room, back and forth, back and forth, a gun in each hand, Officer Nelligan’s and his own—which, as it turns out, he stole from his mother.
I think he expects me to ask him why he is so mad, or at least to talk to him. But I can’t do that. I can’t speak at all. Oh my God. He just asked me if I’m still writing the songabout us. Can you believe that? Doesn’t he even remember what he said to me last night?
Aurora Grace, I’ve been awake ever since that dream, and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I believe it was a prophecy.
I am going to kill Gabriel LeRoy. I don’t know when or how. But the moment will present itself to me, and when it does, I will not be afraid. And as he takes his last breath, I will say Jenny’s name to him. I will show him her picture. I will make sure that my sister is the last thought he ever has.
Love,
April
11:00A.M.
Dear Aurora Grace,
It’s Father’s Day. That’s why Gabriel is mad. Because it’s Father’s Day and he doesn’t have a father. He’s always said that his dad left his mom for a dancer, but apparently, that’s just another lie. He’d said it to “save face,” he told me. It was his mother who was the cheater. His dad left because he found out she’d been having an affair with a married man for years and years—and guess what? She still is. A few days before I broke up with him, Gabriel found a box at the bottom of his mother’s closet. Inside was a necklace, a sexy nightgown, and a letter from the married man she’s having an affair with—Gabriel’s real father. In it, he says to Linda, “Take good care of our son. But don’t ever let your husband know.”
I think that was what drove Gabriel crazy, not me. Ithink the lava started bubbling up inside him when he found that box, and then when I broke up with him, it was an excuse to explode.
Gabriel’s mom and her lover have a code: She calls him twice. The first time, she hangs up after one ring. The second time, she hangs up after two. They meet at an Arco station in San Bernardino and they usually go to a motel from there, but not always. Sometimes, they just sit somewhere and talk. If she calls on a weekday, he goes to the gas station during his lunch break. If she does it on a Sunday, they meet after church. Gabriel learned some of this from the letter, some of it from putting “one and two together.” That’s what he said. One and two. He doesn’t even know the right expression.
It’s a Sunday today and it’s Father’s Day, and this morning, Gabriel called his real father from the pay phone downstairs. One hang-up after one ring. Another hang-up after two. After he made the call, he spent the rest of Ed Hart’s money on a shotgun. He bought it from a guy on our floor who I think is a gang member. The shotgun is in the back seat of the powder blue Accord, strapped in like a passenger. We are driving to the Arco station. Neither one of us speaks, and it’s an awful, ugly silence.
When Gabriel told me the story about his father, he was crying. He said it was the first time he’d ever said it all out loud. “Baby Blue, you are the only person in the world who I can trust with the truth.” He said this. Gabriel did. The boy who killed my entire family.
I don’t have a father either, Gabriel. Have you thought about that?
The bruise on my face has mostly faded. Elizabeth helpedme cover up the rest with makeup. But if I touch my cheek, it still hurts. Gabriel LeRoy hasn’t just killed my family. He’s turned me into someone I no longer know. A weak person and a murderer. He’s turned me into him.
Elizabeth says that if I can get away from Gabriel, she’ll take me to the Gideon compound. It’s something to look forward to, I guess. But right now, all I want to do is make it out of this Arco station alive, so I can kill Gabriel. So I can become me again.
Love,
April
2:30P.M.
Dear Aurora Grace,