“Did you even look at this good? Judging from the due date, she’s four months. Y’all about to know what y’all having soon if she doesn’t already know.”
“What I do though Jo? Like I’m going to take care of my family regardless, but what do I do regarding her? She played the fuck out of me.”
“I mean, technically, she didn’t. Y’all were never exclusive and to be honest, I think she made it that way because she knew herself. I was hard on her ass at first, but Dawn sent me a long message trying to explain the shit to me. I just ain’t hit her back yet.”
We weren’t official but that didn’t change how we treated each other. We loved on one another as if we had been together for years. There wasn’t shit anyone could tell me about what Yani and I shared. I was all in, but it was clear that she wasn’t.
“She’s giving me privileges to the babies, but she states she needs time to heal and get herself together. I’m telling you now that if I lay eyes on her and see her swollen belly, I’m going against her wishes. She fucked up and I wanted her to feel it but damn, I don’t want her stressing while she’s pregnant.”
“I feel you. I say meet her for like a dinner or something and y’all discuss that shit in person. It’ll be real timing and real emotions. Finally get on the same page and shit.”
I was going to take him up on his suggestion. The least she could do was have a conversation face-to-face so I could get some peace behind all this.
“Twins man. Call me crazy but I think that’s God giving me a do over. Tiana was taken too early and now I got two getting ready to come into the world.”
“Possibly. Whether y’all work this shit out or not, try to make this as easy as possible for her. That’s our family she carrying.”
“Fa sho. I’m ’bout to head her way and see what we can settle on. I ’preciate you always being here bro.”
“I ain’t got nowhere else to be.” He dapped me up and brought me in for a brotherly hug. “When you make a decision, make sure it’s something you can live with.”
I took in what he said, and we left the crib with him going about his business and me heading to Yani hoping she was home. I didn’t give a damn if her baby daddy would be there as well. What we had to discuss didn’t involve him.
Yani stayed on the other side of Oklahoma City, so me getting to her would take over an hour. However, I was welcoming on the time to think and settle my thoughts as well as my nerves. I had too much going on mentally.
The soft tunes of H.E.R played giving me time to reflect on the memories we created. She fucked me over, but I missed her infectious laugh she released when I said a dad joke. Hell, I even missed her stealing food off my plate even though she had a full course meal. She wasn’t a memory that could easily fade. I had started to envision a future with her early on.
Yani was a good woman and despite how she went about everything, that didn’t take away from her ability to make me smile and develop an attachment that still had me wanting her in my life. The babies could have a big effect on that, but she was still the woman I was considering forever with.
By the time I pulled into her driveway, it was a little after five and I was hoping she didn’t go in to work. I exited the car while inhaling deep breaths. This encounter could go either way.
My steps were slower than usual, but I eventually made it to her front door. I watched her and Brendon goof around which caused me to anxiously wait for ours to arrive so I too could engage in those kinds of moments again.
Yani was a bittersweet pill for me to swallow as of now. I wasn’t over what she did but every time I laid eyes on her, I wanted to bury myself in her.
Brendon noticed me first which caused her to look in my direction as well. She said something to him, and he came running to the door with a smile which was surprising. He preferred his father over me.
Opening the door he said, “What’s up, Pax? Where you been?”
“What’s good lil man. I been busy with a lot of work lately, so I just needed a minute. You mind if I holla at your mom for a second?”
“Nah. Come in.”
He stepped to the side and allowed me to enter. Her scent flowed throughout the house. Sweet vanilla with a hint of cocoa was seeping through the air. It was a smell I missed dearly.
“Baby go order us some food and then I’ll meet you in the room to finish our date.”
He took off upstairs leaving Yani and I alone. Looking at her dressed down in a pair of shorts and tank with her stomach poking, all I wanted to do was caress her. Rub her down and gain a new experience with her. We were never supposed to be disconnected in my opinion.
“You look beautiful as usual.”
“Thanks. We can talk in here.” She ushered me to the family room with her occupying the love seat leaving me by my lonesome on the sofa. “Why are you here, Paxton? Did I forget to return something?”
“Nah. The problem is you returned everything. What kind of nigga you take me to be, Yani?”
“Paxton, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just didn’t want you holding anything over my head. I was merely settling everything between us. My apologies.”
“So, you think I’m the type of man that will let the world know what I’ve done for you or how much bread I broke behind you? Once again, Yani, what kind of nigga do you think I am? I came to see what the hell we’re about to do regarding us. I don’t like you right now, I truly don’t, but I haven’t stopped loving you.”