“Can we get on with this doc? I got somewhere to be.”
“And where is that?” Xara asked with attitude dripping from her tongue. She no longer had tears in her eyes.
“None of yo’ business. I was speaking to the doctor, not you. Stay in your lane Xara. Now, can we speed this up doc?”
Dr. Wales nodded quickly while looking toward Xara. I didn’t care what was going on for real. I already had an ultrasound on the baby and every time Xara came home, she gave me an update on the baby. I truly didn’t need to be here since it was a wellness check.
Xara eyed me with evil eyes which didn’t move me in the slightest way. She had irritated me for the day, and I was anxious to get the hell away from her. All that arguing wasn’t me. If she just chilled, we would be good.
The appointment progressed and the only time I showed interest was when the baby was on the screen and the heartbeat boomed throughout the room. It was strong and that brought a smile to my face. I loved my kids, and they held a big part of my heart.
If Xara calmed down with all her back and forth, then maybe shit would run better for us both. She wasn’t where I wanted to be for real, but we shared a child, and I would’ve been willing to settle if she learned how to chill the fuck out. She was acting as if I was a single man when she met me, but I was far from it and Yani was never hidden. The details of us might’ve been but she was never a secret.
“The blood work from your last visit returned and we have the gender of the fetus. Would you like to know or wait?”
“Know,” we stated simultaneously.
“Alright, give me one moment to pull them up.” She went to scrolling and I grabbed Xara’s hand. We had talked about the gender a few times and was hoping for a boy. “Okay you two. It seems as if you are carrying a healthy baby boy.”
“Yes!”
We were excited and our happiness showed. Xara looked at me with so much love and although we were never on the samepage, I was gracious for this moment with her. My kids didn’t have the luxury of choosing their parents, so I tried my best to be a standup guy and be there for them regardless of who I dealt with.
“I’m glad I could bring a smile to your face. That’s everything for this visit. I’ll see you next month. Have a good day you two.” Dr. Wales left us to bask in the good news.
“Hell yeah. I couldn’t deal with another Truce. She cries too much for me,” I said as I helped her down off the table.
“Nigga you got her like that. Always running to her aid, spoiling her with gifts, letting her get her way… she does no wrong in your eyes. She cries when you’re not around or when I tell her no.”
I smiled off her statement. She wasn’t wrong. Truce had me wrapped around her tiny fingers and I didn’t plan on going anywhere any time soon. Xara had no idea how my kids played a major factor in us being together. I wasn’t dropping the ball twice. I did with Yani but aside from her dramatics, Xara was a cool chick. I could be with her as long as she wasn’t on a nigga head trying to dictate my every move.
We walked out of the doctor’s office in a better mood than when we walked in. She stopped mentioning Yani and that was a blessing. I didn’t like for her name to roll off Xara’s tongue no way. It made me realize how bad I had fucked up anytime she did. If she knew what was best for her, she would let Yani be and focus on the shit we had.
“Where did you have to go, Trust?” she inquired once we got inside the car.
“I had to run by the mall and then a floral shop to send something off.”
“And that was more important than checking on the baby?”
“Nah, but when you nagging a nigga, everything is more important.” I wasn’t trying to sound rude or anything, but it was the truth.
“I’m sorry. I just?—”
“Need to worry about yourself. Shit would work out in your favor more if you did so. You come up with these scenarios and stress yourself out afterward. Majority of the time you be wrong as fuck and then we got tension between us, and I don’t like that. I ain’t never been the type to argue with my woman and we go at it entirely too much for my liking.”
She was quiet and that was something that didn’t happen often. It took a lot to shut her up, but I guess she was actually listening to understand this time instead of listening to respond.
I let her sit with that as I pulled out of the parking lot. When we came to a red light, I finally glanced her way and saw her silently crying. For some reason, her tears were effective. They tugged at my heart, and I couldn’t help but wonder why.
Reaching over, I wiped her face clean and gave her a sensual kiss. She was the mother of my kids, and I didn’t dislike the girl. Hell, I messed with her for years and thought she was an escape at one point of time. As toxic as she was, she was a vibe when she was chillin’.
Her tiny hand grabbed my wrist, and she gave me her undivided attention.
“Trust, I’m not trying to lose you. I know I get crazy but that’s because of how we are. We share a family and that’s something I never really had. I love you and I can’t help but assume that every time you walk out the door that you’re walking back to her. It scares me.”
I understood where she was coming from but hell, Yani wasn’t thinking about me right now so for the time being, I was all Xara’s. I wasn’t going to act like if Yani ever gave me a chance again that I wouldn’t drop everything with Xara because I wouldand make my kids the only reason for discussion. Yani was and always would be my wife. However, I wasn’t no trash ass nigga. I fucked up and now I was dealing with the consequences.
“That’s on me for making you feel like that. I’m sorry for all this shit Xara. I’m really not trying to make this shit a heartbreaking experience. Just back off and know I ain’t doing shit. It’s sad that your only concern is Yani and not these other hoes.”