I have no idea how I manage it, but suddenly everything falls away. The drones, the rifle, the blinking red eyes of the cameras, Jahzara Zedd, Katann Hahn, and billions of beings across the planet.
Perhaps it’s because time is short and life is so fucking precious. Or perhaps it’s that this male, whose callused hands are holding me as if I’m the most exquisite thing in the universe has become dear to me.
But I don’t want to go into this like a Christian marching to slaughter in an arena filled with lions. I want to go into this with my eyes wide open and my heart full of affection.
I drag my lips away from the sweetest kisses and place them at his ear. Before the night is over, I want my tongue to know every whorl and ridge of this pointed ear and the other. I want to memorize the thick plating of his back and shoulders and the soft, suede-like skin that covers him elsewhere.
I want to know how it feels to rake my fingers through his silky, black hair and what his response will be when I lick his eyelashes.
“I want to do this with you, Xzavic,” I whisper, wishing I didn’t have to press my lips to his ear so I could watch the expression on his handsome face. “I wish it was under different circumstances, but I won’t regret a thing we do up against this wall or in that bed or hanging from the chandelier.” I try to break the solemnity of the moment with, “Oh, they gave us fake champagne but no chandelier, bummer.”
He doesn’t chuckle at my lame attempt at a joke. He shifts slightly so his lips are at my ear. “This will be the highlight of my life, Blaze.”
My heart stutters in my chest at those words. I don’t need to be looking at him to know they are the truth from the depths of his soul. These aren’t the cheesy words spoken to get into a woman’s pants. He has no need for that.
The ineffable poignancy of the moment makes my heart clench and brings tears to my eyes.
I debate with myself for a moment. In other circumstances, I would censor myself. I would never in a million years rip open my heart and admit my tender feelings for him. But one or both of us will be dead tomorrow.
“I’ve had a shit life, Xzavic. Admitting that this will be the highlight of my life isn’t really saying much. So let me tell you…” I pause as my mind casts about for the best thing I could possibly tell him.
“I used to dream, in the before-times, before the world, the galaxy, kicked the shit out of me one too many times. When I used to dream, when I allowed it, I dreamed of a man, a male, who would look at me the way you do. A male who had strength but had the passion to match. One who was courageous enough to show it to me. In my wildest dreams, I was never bold or imaginative enough to dream of a male as good as you.”
“Ahem,” Jahzara Zedd clears her throat. “We’re waiting.”