"Yeah," he says. "Alright."
He runs his cock through me slowly, coating himself, watching my face while he does it, and then he pushes inside and mywhole body adjusts around him and I think, there. That's it. That's the thing I've been missing without knowing what it was.
"Fuck," he breathes, going still inside me. "You feel so good. Fuck, Sav."
"I need more," I say. "I'm not fragile."
He looks at me. "I know you're not."
He pulls back and drives in properly and the sound I make is not quiet. Austin comes down and covers my mouth with his kiss to muffle it. I wrap my legs around him and pull him deeper.
"Being impatient, Sav?"
"It's been ten years, Austin. Please."
He chuckles and gives me exactly what I'm asking for. Hard, deep and relentless. It feels like heaven and it feels like coming home at the same time. He knows what he's doing in a way he didn't when we were eighteen and I feel every bit of the difference. He takes his time even while he gives me what I want. He watches my face constantly and I stop being self-conscious about it because this is Austin, he's always watching my face. What he sees there makes him do it harder and that is very much working for me.
I can feel another orgasm building already, faster than I expected. “I’m going to come again.”
"Let it go, baby. Give it to me. I want to feel you squeezing my cock when you come."
His words alone send me most of the way there and then he shifts the angle, hitting exactly the right place. I come hard, my whole body arching up into him. I grab the pillow and burymy face in it, and I hear him laugh low in his throat, satisfied and warm. He keeps moving through every wave of it until I’m completely wrung out.
When I come down, he's still moving and I can feel him growing thicker and his voice has gone rough at the edges.
"Sav. I'm going to come inside you. Are you on the pill?"
"Yes."
"Good." He presses his mouth to my temple, his hips still working. "But just so you know, I wouldn't mind either way. Eventually. When you're ready. I just need you to know that when I say you're mine I mean all of it."
"Austin, stop being sensible and..."
"Yeah, boss," he says, and he takes it up another level and I grab the pillow again and hold on for my life.
He comes with my name in his throat and his face pressed into my neck. I feel every second of it and I want to cry, which isn’t something I was prepared for. He moves the pillow from my face when it's done and looks at me.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Kind of." I press my hand to my chest. "It was more intense than I expected. I feel really emotional."
He rolls onto his side and pulls me into him, one arm solid and warm around me. His fingers find my arm and start moving up and down it. The room settles around us as I listen to his heartbeat steady under my ear. "It was really intense. I felt like we became one person. Like we always were supposed to be one person, and we just finally got back to it."
I lie there and breathe. I feel him breathing too. The quiet between us is different from any other quiet I've been in. It's full instead of empty.
I press my face against his chest. "I hurt so much from what you did that I thought I was never going to be able to move on. And then I realized I hadn't moved on at all. I just kept going. There's a difference." I tilt my head up and look at him. "But being here with you, in your arms, this is where I was always meant to end up. I know that now."
He moves my head so he can look at me. He kisses me, slow at first and then not slow, and when he pulls back, he says, "I love you, Sav."
My heart does the thing it always did when he said it. Like I've been waiting to hear it, and I didn't let myself know I was waiting.
"I love you, too," I say. "But I have to tell you, I love another man as well."
He goes still and then he's up on his elbow and his face has become a complete mask, gone from open to closed in half a second. "What the fuck do you mean? Is it Luke?"
I laugh. I can't help it. "I mean EJ."
The face he makes when he realizes. The relief and then the embarrassment and then the expression of a man who knows he's been had. He comes back down to my level. "Don't do that to me. I can't stand the thought of another man touching you. I'd want to kill him."