I freeze. My whole body is strung tight, my breath coming in small gasps. I don’t dare to move. He just hovers there, not moving, just touching. I want to beg him, but I can’t make myself sink that deep and admit that Killian is right: that he’s turned me into a dirty ass slut.
Ian hums. “Oh, yes. I know you want this. You can’t hide from me. I see it all.” He gives me a small shake by the neck and leans closer. “Right here in your beautiful green eyes. You want Killian to fuck your ass, and you’ll love it when I do the same.”
I swallow hard, suppressing the urge to protest.
He must see the minuscule shake of my head, because he smiles. “Oh yes. You can’t even deny it, because you know it would be a lie.” He lifts his finger from my ass to spit on it, then presses it back against my rear opening. I gasp when he starts circling. The motion is maddening. He barely even presses, yet itmakes my nerves sizzle and crackle. It’s not enough to make me come, but it drives my need through the roof.
“P-please.” I shut my eyes tight and lean my head back into Ian’s tight grip. My voice goes shrill. “Please.”
“Touch your clit, Jenna. Show me what a good little ass slut you are and come while I finger your tight little hole.”
Hearing the words Killian uses to degrade me on Ian’s lips is horrible. Yet my whole body starts buzzing, surging toward the peak the moment I touch my clit.
“That’s it,” he croons as I rub eagerly. “Come while you imagine me sinking deep inside your ass, stretching you wide.”
“Yes,” I moan, imagining just that—Ian claiming my body and every last piece of me he hasn’t already taken.
He pushes inside, just the very tip of his finger. “Imagine how I’ll fuck you after Killian has taken you back here.”
I groan in shock at the obscene idea, but even so, his words throw me over the edge. I come with a long, half-screamed moan, bucking and gripping onto his arm as shudders and shivers grip my body.
“This is so fucked up,” I whisper when he releases my neck, letting me fall forward and collapse into him.
“It is,” he agrees, pulling me into him and placing a soft kiss on top of my head. “But it feels right in a way nothing has in a very long time.”
I press myself into him and inhale his warm cedar-cardamom scent, imprinting it to my memory, hoping I will never lose it. Because he’s right. As fucked up as this all is, I’m starting to find a sense of belonging I’ve never felt anywhere else.
33
The Impatience
Ian
“When can I have her again?” Killian asks the next day when he comes barging into my office in the afternoon. He’s still wearing his dark cashmere trench coat, the collar turned up against the cold outside.
I lean back in my office chair, folding my hands over my stomach.
“When?” he demands, all but ripping open the buttons of his coat, staring me down.
“No more than once a week. Tops.”
He rakes a hand through his slicked-back hair, leaving a strand out of place. “Are you kidding me? You have her every night.”
My jaw tightens. Seeing Jenna curled up on the couch and pulling in on herself last night made me second-guess this arrangement—again. Today she seems to have recovered well, appearing calm, maybe even more so than usual, but I’ll have to wait another few days to be sure. Subdrop can come as a delayed reaction days after a scene. And one short scene really isn’t enough to tell if only getting aftercare from me will be enough.
“If you promise to give her the aftercare she needs, you can have her sooner.”
“Fuck that.” He throws his jacket on a recliner and starts pacing the room. “She’s not getting any of that fucking shit from me.”
As much as I want Killian to get comfortable with aftercare, I’m relieved by his reaction. I’m not ready to give Jenna up for more than one night a week. But I’ll admit, I want to escalate things, and not for noble reasons. Teasing her about shoving my cock into her ass last night was as much torture for me as it was for her. I wasn’t joking when I said I’d suffer right alongside her. Every day I’m around her, it gets harder to hold back.
It’s tempting to just take her ass even though I promised Killian he’d be the one to break her in. But if he found out, it’d only feed his belief that I’m keeping her from him. And while some days I want to do exactly that, it’s not the outcome I truly want.
I could abandon my plan to keep her pussy untouched, but I hate that idea as well. Maybe I’ve got a masochistic streak, or maybe it’s just that the idea of her being a secondhand virgin turns me on more than it should. Either way, it only proves the first point.
“How much time will I have?” Killian demands, breaking me from my thoughts.
He stops pacing, and I feel him glaring at me as I take my time considering.