“Take your time,” Octavia said gently. “It is only you and I here.”
He breathed in deeply. “I was upset when you left. Not that you were given this opportunity, and not that you left us. I was upset because when you left, I realized how much I… that I…”
“That you what?” she pressed softly.
Another deep breath, and he looked at her finally. His expression was sad. He looked lost and afraid, as if he knew where he wanted to go but did not know how to get there.
Octavia’s heart started to flutter again, with a sense of hope. She was so certain of what he wanted to say, and it took everything she had not to finish his thought for him.
Before she said her own piece, he needed to do so first. He needed to know that it was right to speak his truth, that it was what she wanted.
“I realized how much I need you,” he said painfully. “As soon as you left, I turned into the man I used to be. I ran straight back, falling into old habits as if they were a second skin. I knew it was wrong, and I knew I could do better. I just didn’t know how.”
“I think you underestimate yourself.” Octavia was sure to look at him as she spoke. “The man I saw today, the one who ran all over London looking for his son… he was not that same man who I met on my first day here. You think you are this man, but you are not.”
He laughed softly. “You see that, right there. That is why I need you here. Only you could…” He shook his head. “Only you see me that way. As only you make me want to be better.”
“Is that all?” She shuffled in closer so their knees touched. “Is that the only reason you want me to stay?”
“No.” He licked his lips, and his expression hardened. “The truth is that I… for so long I have… I fought against it, I… I denied it, I…” He grimaced. “I was scared that you would not…”
“Just say it!” Octavia cried.
“I love you,” he blurted, and his eyes widened as if in shock. “I mean… I did not…” The Duke’s brow furrowed. She thought he was going to turn away again, but he forced his eyes on her. The sadness was gone. The loneliness slowly vanished. He met her eyes, she did the same, and such was the look in them that even if he tried to lie to her, it would have done no good. “I love you, Miss Finch…”
“Octavia,” she said. “Please, call me –”
“Octavia,” he spoke over her as his other hand went to her face. He cupped it gently. “Were you still just a governess, were you a street urchin, or were you the Queen of England, it would make no difference. I love you, and if admitting that makes me weak, then… Then I am a weak fool, and proud of it.”
Octavia’s heart soared.
She had doubted it for so long. She had denied it. She had refused to see what was so obvious. Perhaps it’s because she was scared too, afraid of what might happen if she truly let her heart open. Funny, in many ways, as she had accused the Duke of doing the same thing.
But with his confession, all her doubts faded like mist in the rain. The Duke loved her; her love for him had never died, and there was really nothing else to say. Well, except for the obvious thing.
“May I call you Evander?” she said with a coy smile.
He chuckled. “I insist.”
“In that case…” She rested her hand on that which cupped her face. “I love you too, Evander. Foolish, I know, falling in love with a duke, but I have always been stubborn like that.”
“Perhaps the most stubborn person whom I know.”
“Coming from you?” She beamed. “How dare you?”
He laughed. “Two stubborn fools, that we are. It is just lucky that we found one another.”
“No, not luck.” Her eyes sparkled. “Fate. Let us call it fate.”
With that said, words no longer held any value.
They sat facing one another on the edge of the bed. Their knees touched. One hand holding the other, the other hand cupping Octavia’s face. They stared into one another’s eyes, the world around them vanished because they were the only two people who mattered, and all that had troubled them, all their doubts and worries and misgivings… again, they simply did not matter.
Evander’s eyes flicked down to Octavia’s lips. His head tilted. Her breath caught as he started to lean forward. And so it was that they sealed their love with a kiss.
Rather, that was how it started…
As soon as their lips touched, Octavia knew it wouldn’t end there. How could it possibly? With all they had been through to get there, how often they had been forced to hold back, it was a wonder that their self-control had lasted this long.