“I am not –”
“If you want to be treated with respect, you must treat others the same way. Perhaps I will ask Henry to visit, but only when I think that you deserve it.” His stomach turned, so he thought that he might be sick. “Is that understood?”
Aaron said nothing, and his body curled further.
Evander looked at the form of his son beneath the covers. He wanted to crawl into bed with him, to hold him, to tell him sorry and promise that everything would work out for the best. Butthat was also a lie. Nothing would be the same as it was, and despite his desire to protect his son, lying to him would not help.
So, Evander chose cold detachment instead. He was his father’s son, raised to be this way, and it was time he accepted this as the truth.
“Good night, Aaron.” Evander stood and crossed the room. “We will start interviewing new governess’ tomorrow, and I expect you to be on your best behavior.”
With that said, he closed the door, hating himself even more than he already had. His son despised him. Miss Finch likely wanted nothing to do with him. And it was exactly what Evander deserved.
Evander spent much of the night thinking about his conversation with Aaron. He knew even before he had walked out of that room that he’d gone too far. Aaron was only seven, he couldn’t possibly understand the complexities of what was going on inside of Evander’s head – Evander didn’t even understand them! And he was right to be upset.
For this reason, Evander decided that come the following morning he would have a more honest conversation with his son.
What he would say, what he would admit, Evander had no idea. But he could not stomach the idea of his son hating him, for he had seen what it felt like to be loved and admired… even if it was only for a short time. And perhaps, this was what would make Evander finally admit his own feelings.
Maybe, by the time the morning is finished with, I will be one step closer to being he who Miss Finch had started to see… I can be that man; I must believe it.
He walked into the breakfast room, brimming with nerves. For weeks now, Evander had made sure he was present at breakfast, and that had not changed once Miss Finch left. The mood at those breakfasts might have been different, they were certainly awkward and not nearly so pleasant. But he was making an effort, and that was what mattered.
Surprisingly, Aaron was not there.
“Where is Master Aaron?” he asked the footman as he took his seat. “It is not like him to miss a meal.” He chuckled at the thought. “That boy eats enough for five people.”
“I am not sure, Your Grace. I will check.”
“Do that.”
The footman hurried away, only to return a few moments later. With him was Miss Spencer, and she wore a look of abject worry on her face.
“Your Grace!” she rushed toward him. “I do not understand it. I… I swear, I was not late in waking Master Aaron this morning. I promise you!”
Evander stood quickly. “What has happened? Where is my son?”
“That’s just it, Your Grace.” Her chin wobbled furiously, panic and fear both present in her eyes. “He was not in his room when I went to wake him, nor is he anywhere that I can see.”
“He…” Evander’s stomach dropped. “What are you saying?”
“He has gone, Your Grace. He has run away.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Evander spent the entire morning searching every square inch of his residence. He swept from room to room, poking his head into every corner, every alcove, every hiding space that one might find a seven-year-old boy.
The staff did the same. There were dozens of them, and they spread out and called for Aaron as they scoured the entire property. And even those rooms that had already been checked, Evander was sure to look in again.
At first, he told himself that his son was just hiding. No doubt he was still upset with Evander, and this was his way of paying him back and showing just how angry he was. But as the hours wore on, and as Aaron remained unfound, his panic and his worry for his son began to grow.
This is my fault… I did this. And if anything happens to him…
For three full hours, he searched the residence, as well as the back garden, the alleyways, and the nearby streets. He called Aaron’s name. He sent his staff to the neighboring homes to see if they had heard from him. And after all of that… nothing.
It was only once he had finished that Evander allowed himself to rest. Although it wasn’t so much resting as it was collapsing in the foyer in a pitiful heap. This was why he had spent his life not caring. This was why he was so emotionally closed off. Some called it a weakness, but he saw it as a way to avoid pain.
“Your Grace!” Miss Spencer rushed through the front door.