“Octavia, can we… I want to ask you something.”
Henry stood in the hallway as Octavia stepped out of her bedroom. He appeared nervous, the way he fidgeted with his hands, how he was able to look everywhere but at her.
“Henry.” Octavia’s chest tightened with worry. “Is something the matter?”
“No, I…” His face tightened. “I don’t think so. I just… I wanted to ask you about something. But I don’t know what you’ll say.”
“I guess that’s why you’re asking, isn’t it?” She walked to where he stood and rested a hand on his shoulder. “You can speak to me about anything, Henry. I hope you know this.”
Her little brother considered her before nodding firmly as if to give himself courage. “I wanted to say that I really like it here. Idid not know if I would, but…” He shrugged. “It is better than I thought it would be.”
“I am glad,” she said, still unsure where he was going with this. “I have liked it too.”
“Then why do we have to leave?”
“We…” She frowned. “Who said we have to leave?”
“You did.” He forced himself to look at her, and she saw the hope in his eyes. “You said we might only be here for six months. That after… when it’s over, we would move to the country.”
“Oh.” Octavia blinked. “I… I said that we might do that.”
“Do we have to leave?” Henry pleaded with her. His voice was low, his body was withdrawn, but he continued to look at her with that same sense of hope. “I like it here, Octavia. I know you do too. Can we stay when it is over? I don’t want to go.”
It was true that Octavia considered moving to the country when her time as governess was finished. The money she had made since starting this job, not to mention that which she would continue to make, was more than she would have dared to wish for, and it would easily be enough to see herself and her brother find a home in the country, able to set themselves up for long enough so that she might find more work.
When Octavia had first realized this plan, she had seen it as a bid for freedom. Her debts would be paid. Her life would finally be her own. And as she had always wanted, she and Henry might have a chance at a life that they both deserved…Henry, especially, will not have to scrounge and suffer as I have had to do.
But that plan, once an idealistic notion of a future that Octavia spent four years wishing upon, no longer felt nearly so fulfilling as it once did.
As Henry looked pleadingly up at her, she thought back to the previous evening, what she and the Duke had done together. She thought back further, how she had seen the Duke change before her very eyes, the sense that their relationship had grown beyond that of mere employer and employee. She thought of her own feelings, those which had roared to life last evening, and still lived in her even now.
Is it possible? Might Henry and I have a life here instead…
She wanted to say yes, of course. If this was what Henry desired, she would not deny him. But as those words rose in her throat and touched at her tongue, she was reminded of a reality that could be ignored for a time but not forgotten.
What did she really expect from the Duke? Where could they go from here? He was a duke, she was nothing, and she could not rely on him to… she did not even know!
It was nice to dream of having, but eventually, one had to wake up.
“Nothing is certain,” she said to Henry, unable to admit to him the truth. “And there are still several months until we must consider what happens next.”
He scrunched his face as if angry. “That isn’t an answer.”
“True enough,” she laughed softly. “But it is the best you are going to get from me today.” Octavia dropped to her knees so that she could better look her brother in the eyes. “Everything I do is for us, Henry. Know that. And when the time comes, whatever decision I make, it will be for that reason. Please, trust me. Can you do that?”
“I…” His face remained tight, and Octavia made sure to look into his eyes because she needed him to see that she was being honest. “I trust you, Octavia. You know I do.”
“Good.” She stroked his face and stood back up. “Then trust me in this. Now…” Taking his hand, Octavia led him down the hallway. “Let us break our fast, yes? No doubt Master Aaron is wondering where we are.”
They walked together to the breakfast room, silence their companion, because Henry undoubtedly still worried about their future and where they might go from here… but then again, so did Octavia.
If only things were easier. If only her life was not as it were. Sadly, as Octavia had learned so often in this world, there were some things that could not be changed, and all one could do was adapt, pray, and do the best you could with what was given.
Evander was working in his study when there was a knock at the door. As his head was bent over his desk, his heart leapt at the sound of that knock, because he thought for a moment that it might be Miss Finch.
Frustratingly, this was not the case.
“Your Grace.” The footman bowed and hurried into the room. “I am so sorry to disturb you, but you have a visitor who requests an urgent meeting.”