A different time… a different man…
That piece had been painted shortly before Aaron was born. His mother, Liliaane, although not someone whom Evander had loved, his marriage to her was for expectation, done because of his position in society, had still taken up a place in Evander’s heart. She was softly spoken. She was obedient and not the type to cause an argument. But she was his wife, the mother of his future child, and that had meant something.
It was enough that Evander had allowed himself to feel a semblance of hope in what the future might bring. He did not think himself to be the type who might look forward to happiness, but the idea that such a state of being might somehow find him was a feeling that he had started to covet.
So, he’d drawn that painting, imagining himself as a father and a husband. Not something he had ever seen himself as, but something that he might have liked to grow into, was he given the chance.
I was a fool to let myself succumb to such emotions, such fanciful dreams that I knew deep down could never exist. And now, while some might see that painting and smile, I see it and scowl, knowing it for what it is.
It is false hope… that is all it can ever be.
He tore his eyes from the painting and looked at what he had been working on. A verdant landscape, tranquil and serene on first inspection, but with a storm approaching on the horizon.
Evander scowled at the storm. His first inclination was to increase its size, to make it more menacing and apparent so that nobody would mistake this painting for what it was. However, the longer he looked, the more he dared to wonder… should he remove the storm entirely? Should he paint blue skies only, as if such a thing exists?
“Knock, knock,” a soft voice spoke from behind him.
Evander’s eyes widened, and he snatched at the sheet which hung from the easel, quick to cover the portrait as if he should be ashamed of it.
Then he turned, and he scowled at the intruder. “What are you doing here?”
Miss Finch did not appear in the least bit threatened by his temper. Rather, she seemed amused by it, even smirking as she stepped into the room.
Evander continued to scowl, wanting to put her in her place… he needed her to know that this was not an act. Even if it felt that way.
“Might we talk for a moment?” she asked, coming to a stop halfway into the room.
It was a small victory, but that she did not come too close was a sign that she was not as comfortable around him as she wanted to appear. No doubt, their conversation last evening, and what happened after, still sat with her.
Evander allowed a smirk of his own, somewhat happy with this realization. It gave him leave to pretend that their kiss was done for good purpose, that he still had power over her, and that he had not kissed her for the exact opposite reason.
I was merely putting her in her place. That is all it was. She is so desperate to prove that she does not fear me that I need to remind her why she should.
It was weak reasoning, and the way that Evander’s body began to sweat, just as his eyes flicked to her luscious lips, was proof enough of this.
“Have we not spoken enough for one day?” he said sharply.
“You refer to this morning?” she said, still smirking. “I would agree, had you said more than two words. You know, part of joining your son for breakfast means being present.”
“I was there, wasn’t I?” he dismissed. “That is enough.”
“And it was a wonderful success,” she said, turning the smirk into a warm smile. “So much that Master Aaron had not stopped speaking of it all day.”
“Really?” Evander’s heart skipped a beat.
“He has been,” she said. “Which is why I wanted to see if you might join us for a walk this afternoon? I know how much Master Aaron would appreciate it.”
He very nearly said yes.
While Evander liked to pretend he did not care about his son, nothing could be further from the truth. He wanted his son to love him, just as he wanted to be the type of father that he’d never had. While Evander was damaged beyond repair, there was still hope for Aaron, still a chance that he might grow into the man who Evander could never be.
Sadly, it was because Evander was so broken that doing something as simple as spending time with his son was just about impossible. He simply wasn’t that man…
“I told you I was busy,” he said. “I do not have time for walks.”
“Are you sure?” Miss Finch pushed. “It will only take an hour or –”
“I said no,” he snapped.