I glance at the phone screen and the stack of notifications.
Perhaps I should call Richard, but he’s not a defense attorney. I pick up the phone, finger hovering over the phone icon.
Noah stands across my desk, a loyal sentry, a silhouette against the window, all quiet threat and steadiness. Will he want anything to do with me after he learns the truth?
There’s no doubt in my mind the affair is what led the police investigator to point the finger at me. It’s coming up—possibly in the arraignment hearing.
“What is it?” Noah asks.
It’s not like me to move slowly when faced with crisis, to hesitate, or to be torn over priorities. I should tell Noah later, but I can’t risk not being the one to tell him.
“I’m going to call Dorian, but once I do, everything has the potential to move fast. I need you to know something—the reason the police suspect me.”
He crosses his arms. “Okay.”
“I had an affair with Matthew Delacroix. It happened ten years ago. Matt and I…crossed a line. Briefly. For a couple of months. I buried it, locked it away. I didn’t think anyone knew.” I think back to Dorian’s reaction—maybe Matt and I fooled ourselves. “I’m not a cheater. It was… It was after Stella had been born. My marriage was in a bad place. Richard was never home.”
“You don’t need to explain it to me.”
Noah’s firm. There’s no anger. No, he’s calm under fire. And what he’s not saying is absolutely correct. I need to focus.
“We can talk about it later. For now, call Dorian. I’m going to tell the team?—”
I open my mouth to protest—the idea of my affair being shared with people I don’t even know—absolutely not.
“We need all the information.” There’s so much going on in his expression—maybe he’s thinking it, maybe I’m feeling it—but the most significant one is that I should’ve shared this information with him and the team on day one. “No surprises, Alicia. It’s the one rule in defense.”
“Right.” It’s reluctant agreement. As a crisis manager, I always tell my clients I need to know everything to formulate the best plan, and yet I didn’t share everything with my team.
He exits, closing the door behind him, and I stay very still for a moment. I’ve built a career on the principle that secrets unmanaged become crises. I knew about the affair. I knew it was relevant. And I said nothing—told myself it was ancient history, that it wouldn’t surface, that I could manage the exposure if it did. I was wrong on all three counts.
I lift the phone and press Dorian’s name.
“Dorian,” I say, and the shaken uncertainty in the way that one word sounds has me blinking back tears.
“No word yet on which judge you’ll be assigned. Once we know, we’ll have more information.”
“What do you mean?”
“If it’s a judge with close ties to Pierce, then someone’s pulling strings.”
I exhale, knowing his thought process. His father—and I guess Dorian too—work like that. Judge shopping. But this… “I think…” I stop myself. Restart. “There’s a strong possibility the police didn’t have a good suspect. There’s pressure on them to close out the case. This could be nothing more than rushed police work. Because of the affair that I didn’t admit to?—”
“Maybe. We’re looking into that angle too. Are you good with my legal recommendation or are you acquiring your own?”
I close my eyes and rest my head on the back of my office chair. “I haven’t read any of your texts. Noah came to get me. I’ve been upstairs with Stella.”
“I strongly recommend Shelly Madison and Luca Corzone. They’re a high-profile defense team for Barclay Law. They’re based in DC and are prepped and ready.”
“Locked and loaded,” I say, pushing aside the swirling nausea. “Should I call Richard?”
“For legal counsel? Hell no.”
Dorian and Richard never hit it off. “Why?” He dropped everything to help me when I was called in for questioning.
“His intentions can’t be trusted. What if he sees this as an opportunity to gain custody of Stella?”
“He would never.” I twist in my seat, uncertain, but then, no: “He’ll never want this going public. He’ll see it as an embarrassment to him and his family name. He’d never in a million years want to see Stella’s mother in prison. He’d find me the best legal resources available.”