“And now?”
“Now I wonder if I can be free and still stay with him. We’re not even married yet, and I don’t want to have to say goodbye.”
“You said you’re afraid of falling in love. I hate to burst your bubble, but I think you already have.”
“Passion is about desire, right?”
“At first, yes. But I think passion is also the beginning of love. It’s like reaching a fork in the road. You can choose to dive deep into the relationship, and then it becomes love. Or what once seemed sweet starts to irritate you, and everything turns sour.”
I laugh. “Your explanations are the best. I can actually picture myself with a little suitcase choosing between two paths.”
“And which one will you take?”
“I don’t know. Or rather, I know what I want, but it’s not a decision I can make alone.”
“I think staying is a decision you can make.”
“And what good would staying do if he isn’t in it with me? Aside from the few things he’s told me about his mother, I know as much about Rodrick as any society columnist. I’ve seen his desire and passion, but not what’s inside.”
“You mean the way he won’t talk about his father?”
“That too. And that man, Gilroy, especially. Rodrick never explained what happened after that night at the restaurant, but I know they hate each other. There’s something there I can’t force him to talk about. If he doesn’t trust me enough to open up, how can I imagine a forever for us?”
“And is that all?”
“No. The clause about children shattered me. Even if this is a marriage of convenience and I don’t plan to have themnow, adding that item made it clear our future has an expiration date.”
Kindubh — Scotland
Two days later
I descend the castle stairs feeling like I’m in a dream, wearing the blood-red, one-shoulder gown Josephine and the personal stylist helped me choose, with my prince charming—sorry, my duke charming—waiting for me.
Rodrick looks devastating in a black suit that outlines every powerful muscle of his body.
My heart pounds when I reach the bottom of the steps. “Do I look all right?”
“‘All right’ doesn’t even come close to how beautiful you look.”
I step closer and wrap my arms around his neck. “I like being able to touch you whenever I feel like it, without worrying about what’s appropriate.”
“Have we ever been appropriate, Jazmina? Since the day I carried you out of Vicenzzo’s party, we’ve sent social conventions straight to hell. With me, you’ll never have to fear speaking your mind or apologizing for having an opinion.”
His words soothe my nerves. I don’t know if I’m ready to face Scottish high society.
He kisses me, and I melt into his arms, wishing we didn’t have to go anywhere.
“What’s wrong?”
“They’re going to judge me. Athol told me over a hundred and sixty women signed up to be your wife of convenience. And you chose a foreigner.”
“I chose the woman I want for myself.” His certainty calms me.
“I thought I chose you. Whose idea was the proposal, again?” I tease.
He pulls back slightly to look at me. “It’s that impertinence that makes you the only possible choice. Don’t be nervous. We don’t even have to stay long, but as duke, I need to attend the dinner they’ve arranged, or it would be considered an insult. I don’t care about that, but this isn’t about me. It’s about the title my family has held for generations.”
“That’s all right. It’s not the first time I’ve been judged. I was just venting.”