“No. She doesn’t know anything yet. In fact, it has to do with advice my wife gave me and very little to do with Gilroy, really. I want to leave the past where it belongs, and to do that, I need to bury a few ghosts once and for all.”
“And Gilroy is one of them?”
“Exactly. This donation isn’t for him but for myself. I’m not seeking redemption for the simple reason that I don’t need it. At the time I expelled him from my lands, I couldn’t deal with someone I hated so deeply. I still consider him despicable, but that doesn’t change the fact that my father treated him like a son. He has a right to a portion of the inheritance, even if it wasn’t expressly stated in the will.”
“The money will help him start over.”
“Honestly, I don’t care what happens to him. He was abused, yes. Perhaps he suffered as much as—or even more than—I did as a child, but that doesn’t change the fact that when given the opportunity, he sided with our abuser.”
“Jazmina was the best thing that could have happened to you.”
“Yes, she was, but it wasn’t for her that I decided to give money to Gilroy. Don’t misunderstand my decision as my heart suddenly filling with kindness overnight, but rather because I don’t want to live in the past forever.”
“Either way, a few months ago, you wouldn’t even have tolerated hearing his name.”
“I still carry a lot of anger inside me, and I don’t know if it will ever fully pass. Gilroy and I will never be friends. I think that, at least on my part, we won’t even be able to be in the same room without it causing, at the very least, an argument. I despise him.”
The Highlands
Wedding Eve
“So tomorrow you’ll finally give me your definitiveyes, woman? From the outside, one might think I need to secure your love, reaffirming it through multiple ceremonies.”
I hide a smile when she lifts her head from my chest and rolls her eyes. Little by little, she’s returning to normal after the scare we had. I try not to smother her with my love, but it isn’t an easy task. Almost losing her twice has made me even more paranoid about security issues.
“The idea of receiving religious blessings in both my faith and yours didn’t come from me, duke. On the other hand, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy about so many celebrations.”
“In Rheadur, we didn’t enjoy anything. We left practically the moment your father finished the ceremony.”
“And did you want to stay there longer?”
“No. I’ll go whenever you want to visit your relatives and also because one of my best friends is the ruler, but I can’t forget what almost happened at the gold fair.”
“Life is full of risk. You yourself told me that once.”
“I know, and I accept that there are no eternal guarantees, but I can minimize the danger. It’s one thing knowing it exists; it’s another to be certain that there’s a group in your country that hates you and wants to harm you.”
“It isn’t against me, Rodrick, but against what I represent. They believe that by studying in the United Kingdom and marrying a Westerner, I defied our people’s customs, which, in a way, is true.”
“No one is born with a predetermined future. I believe in the right to choose.”
“So do I, and that’s exactly why I’m here with you, the love of my life, naked and carrying your baby inside my body.”
“You have a way of awakening the caveman inside me when you talk like that.”
“Maybe I do it on purpose, because I know it doesn’t go beyond the walls of our bedroom,” she says, smiling. “Your dominant nature doesn’t suffocate me, because you respect me and have now learned to share.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“And that’s not what I dream of for the two of us. My parents’ marriage is perfect if you look at it from the outside, but there’s no dialogue, and my mother never voices her desires. I don’t know if I’m explaining myself well. I feel like you are my other half, but I also feel whole on my own.”
“You are whole. You always were. Even when you arrived in the United Kingdom, eager to live and experience everything, you never let yourself be influenced by others or compromised your principles. Our personalities will clash forever, I think.We’re opposites—a controller versus a free spirit—but I love a challenge.”
She laughs. “I’m a challenge? I don’t see how. Tomorrow I’ll say yes to you for the third time in front of witnesses, which obviously crosses ‘conquest’ off your list. I’m already overflowing with love.”
“The challenge has to do with that mouth of yours that fires back quick answers and confronts me whenever I try to control you, but don’t change. I don’t want a submissive woman. I want the real Jazmina.”
Chapter 54