“Tall, dark, and doesn’t call after a motel quickie.”
“You’re wrong.” I dipped my lips to her ear. “I like to take my time.”
Tara breathed a playful sigh. “I’m sure you do. But I just did my time with a terrible man and I’m only here to celebrate my liberation.”
“Ah, so no redneck rebound for you?”
She laughed, tapping the bar and speaking sweetly to the bartender as she ordered some syrupy shit and a shot of whiskey for me.
A gentleman would have offered to buy the first round, but I wasn’t a gentleman. By ordering my drink, she was pursuing me.
Normally, I was quick to dismiss a woman that wasn’t interested in the aftermath of drinks. I was good at the fun that happened between the sheets. The before became a part that I dreaded each time I approached a woman. After so many evenings in dive bars the banal repeated details of human lives drove me to madness.
I was in the mood for a bit of cat-and-mouse tonight. Tara wasn’t refusing my attention. That was enough.
Doubt whispered through me as the night wore on. My intention was to charm her enough that she begged for me. Let her think this seduction was her doing.
The longer I danced and drank and took in her radiance, the more I realized it was me who was positioned to tumble into her web and become entangled.
Tara was playing me. I didn’t like how much I was enjoying it. Giving ground.
It was dangerous to chase something when you genuinely wanted it. Wanting only led to disappointment. That was why I collected real estate and expensive boots. Why my hobbies were all things I could buy. Money didn’t betray you.
People did. One hundred percent of the time.
My brothers were an obvious exception to that. But I wasn’t thinking of my brothers then. I wasn’t thinking of them most nights.
Maybe I would feel guilty about that when I was sober and alone.
With a glance over my shoulder I took another shot, my grin taking on a wild edge. I was on number seven and buzzedenough that the beast was a background noise, no longer clawing for control. No doubt he was plotting, noticing my weaknesses as I indulged more than I should.
For once, he wasn’t ruining my life, so I would let him have his plots.
Tara was on shot number two and I was definitely cutting her off after this. Her answering smile was tipsy and happy. A real happy, with those crinkled lines around her eyes. Not the polite smiles she’d been flashing those other assholes all evening.
The music was loud and jagged. I pulled Tara back onto the dance floor anyway. Our bodies moved in a sensuous rhythm, shifting closer with every song until the way we ground against each other was vulgar. A low rumble vibrated my chest and I started, losing my footing and almost stumbling into a chair.
Not here. Not now.I shouldn’t have let my guard down.
Tara cocked her head, her expression questioning. Had she heard? Had she seen the beast in my eyes?
I should go home. This was beyond reckless.
A monster like me wasn’t fit to be around Tara—or anyone.
Panic, sharp and penetrating, had me rushing for the door. Air. I needed air. This wasn’t right.
I only made it halfway across the bar before my insides lurched. Stunned, I swiveled, staring at Tara as she stood bewildered in the middle of the dance floor.
Cursing my own weakness, I returned to her, taking her by the hand and asking in a husky voice that was barely my own, “Walk with me?”
What the hell is wrong with me?I hadn’t meant to speak those words. I approached with the intent of delivering a clipped farewell to let her know the game was over. We were no longer playing by the same rules, and the risk didn’t feel like a thrill anymore.
Instead, I was towing her by the hand, barreling through the back door for a second time. In a daze that had nothing to do with the alcohol.
The night air would smooth my overactive nerves.
Yes, that was it.