When the angles of his face sharpened, eyes bright, it wasn’t Jay at all. It was hisbeast.
Somehow, that was less frightening than a bad temper. It was predictable, in a way.
My gaze followed his hand as it dropped to the quilt again, and I realized the bed was still made, exactly as I left it.
It hit me—how sad it was.
He was a monster—not because ofwhathe was, but because ofwhohe chose to be.
“No one would have hurt you if you hadn’t run away.”
“I wasn’t aware that I was a prisoner here. I thought this was a relationship.”
“If that was true,” he hissed, finally turning to face me with all that angular fury on his face, “then you wouldn’t have humiliated me by fucking my cousin!”
“I didn’t know he was your cousin! I didn’t even know you had a cousin.” I lifted my hands, softening my voice. “It was never my intention to hurt you, Jay. But I couldn’t stay after what you did. I couldn’t trust you.”
“I gave you everything.” He bared his teeth, looking every inch the animal he was. “You were supposed to give me an heir. A son.”
I dropped into the nearest chair, too stunned to say more than, “A son?”
“Yes, a son. I gave you half a year. In return, I wanted a son.”
“You’re serious?” I could barely whisper the question.
“This was always the arrangement, Tara.”
“No, it wasn’t! I thought you wanted to start a family, not to—why do you want a son?”
“First of the First.”
I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but the way he said it gave me chills.
“You were using me to give you a child? Throwing money at me and barelytolerating mejust to get me pregnant?”
“And you were using me to have a better life. That’s the way this works.”
I shook my head so hard I was dizzy. “No, Jay. No, it’s not.”
Was this all a lie? A transaction?
“I tried so hard to love you.” I thought there was something wrong with me when I couldn’t.Iwasn’t the problem.
This time, he was the one to look shocked. “Don’t lie to me.”
“It was never a lie. Not to me.” I swallowed. “It doesn’t have to be like this—Jacques.”
“Don’t call me that!”
I shrank away. “Isaac is your family. You don’t want to hurt him. I don’t think you want to hurt me, either.”
“Idowant to hurt Isaac.” He smiled at me, that rare glimpse of the man I thought he could be. “But not yet. You might havesomething very precious to me.” Jay reached into the pocket of his slacks, procuring a small piece of plastic.
Bile climbed up my throat as I stared at the little pink stick.
“It’s been almost four weeks. Too early to tell, perhaps, but until I’m certain, you’ll be safe from harm.”
I shook my head again, pain pounding in my skull with the movement. “No. No, no, no. This is crazy. There’s no way—"