“What will it take for you to accept that underneath all that hate you claim to have, you still love me?”
Trapped by his knowing look, she turned away, her hands shaking as she wiped one cold palm across her face. The battle within her raged, one side wanting to hold onto her pride and the other urging her to succumb to the happiness he offered. Their painful breakup had overshadowed every good memory, but she hadn’t forgotten the sense of complete acceptance and security she’d experienced with Vihaan. It was also why she’d never gotten over him. Because no other man could’ve measured up to that. Loving her with all her faults wasn’t for the faint of heart, yet Vihaan was here, claiming to do exactly that. The scared girl in her couldn’t help but question how long this would last. How long before he gave up and left?
Like an answer to her unspoken question, she heard his voice from behind her.
“I’m never going to stop fighting for us, Vera. If you don’t want that, then you better hope that I die soon because that’s the only way you’ll stop being my wife.”
She shook her head, trying to shed that odd feeling of want every time he called her his wife.
“I’m going to find a different bedroom,” she mumbled. “You and your delusions can live here alone.”
Before she’d taken another step, Vera found herself being tugged into Vihaan’s lap, his arms closing around her waist like a python embracing its prey. The suddenness of his action took her breath away, her breasts heaving against his forearm as he held her captive. Her free arm gripped his shoulder when he turned her body inwards, guiding her to sit facing him.
“I choose you. And I will wait until you choose me back. That’s not a threat or a promise. It is an indication of how I intend to live my life because giving you up is not an option. So, for better or for worse, until you trust me again, I will accept your anger, your disdain, and your need to hate me. And I will choose to love you every single day.”
His words curled in her ear, weaving themselves into her psyche until she felt bewitched, utterly mesmerised by this powerful man who seemed so willing to fall apart at her feet. Her mouth parted softly, need coiling low and hot when her eyes dropped to his supple lips, knowing the fire they lit when they touched her skin. God, she wanted the pressure of his mouth on hers, and his weight holding her down. The mere recollection of how he moved between her legs, how well he filled and stretched her, had her womb clenching uselessly around air.
Like a herd of thundering rhinos rushing down the Savannah, her heart thumped against her chest so hard that she was sure he could hear it. Unconsciously, she traced up the line of his jaw to his high cheekbone, the darkening stubble making her want to rake her nails across his face to tease him, just to see if she could make himshudder in need like he’d done to her before. The painful digging of his fingers into her waist broke her trance. Her eyes snapped to his, widening when she realised how far she’d allowed her mind to wander. Skin flushed red all down his neck and chest, Vihaan looked like he was seconds away from spreading her knees apart and rutting into her like an animal. Instead of scaring her, the idea only sent a familiar pulse of desire through her.
“Keep looking at me like that and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow. I’d love nothing more than to fuck my way into your heart but not if it gives you a reason to continue shutting me out. If we have sex henceforth, it will be because you know you’re mine. No more distances, no talk of separation. Do you agree?”
“No.”Yes.
Vihaan’s gaze grew shuttered. “Then I suggest you get off my lap and get into my bed, like a good wife. If you try to sleep anywhere else, know that there is nowhere you can go where I will not follow.”
Vera slid off his lap on embarrassingly shaky legs and crawled under her covers. His raspy threat rang in her ears, sounding more and more like a promise she wouldn’t mind putting to the test. Frustration, indecision and unfulfilled desires had her squirming, her body and mind fighting a war that wouldn’t allow her to relax. She continued to shift and fidget well after the lights turned off.
“Princess,” Vihaan called after a solid ten minutes of Vera behaving like someone was poking her in the ass. “Do you have a damn pea stuck under your side of the bed? Why the fuck are you bouncing around so much?”
She let out an aggrieved humph and flopped onto her back, her hands folded over her abdomen atop the comforter that felt like it was made of butter. “Why do you insist on this?”
“Insist on what? Sleeping? Not wanting to feel like an earthquake is ripping right under our house because you won’t let me fuck the wiggles out of you?!”
Her face grew hot, her hand automatically smacking him on the stomach before she drew away, cursing herself for showing such familiarity with his body again. Damn, his abs were so firm, her palm hurt.
“On pretending that this marriage is real,” she grouched. “Giving me gold bangles and trying to force the broken pieces of our relationship together won’t make us whole again. We can’t go back to what we used to be.”
There was a long pause before she heard him shift, his body rolling toward her.
“I’m not looking for what used to be. The Vihaan of the past was an immature fool who let his pride dictate his emotions. I’m not him.”
“Too much has happened,” she sighed, focusing on the random shadows cast upon the ceiling above. “You lived without me just fine. You have no reason to hold on—”
“I do.” He inhaled deeply before he answered her, his voice laced with hurt. “From the first memory I have as a child until we broke up, you are at the forefront of every milestone. I did everything possible to fill the emptiness in me when you weren’t there. Women, parties, alcohol—anything to help me forget you. No matter what I did, that hollow space only grew every passing day. Until we met again, and I felt. . . complete. I do not know myself when I’m separated from you, as surely as I know I’ll never be rid of this obsession with you.”
He sounded so sad that Vera was tempted to do something utterly crazy—like gather him in her embrace and console him, apologise even. But her body remained locked in position, as much a prisoner to her ego as she was her fear. It was some time before she turned, adjusting her cheek against the cool edge of her pillow and curling inwards to face him, their bodies a mere foot apart, hands so close that she could feel the heat of his skin warminghers.
“How can you claim to love me when you’ve admitted that it’s your obsession driving your actions?” There was no accusation in her tone, only curiosity.
“Setting someone you love free is a defeatist philosophy for people who’ve either already lost or are unwilling to fight. My love for youisan obsession. Whether you see that as a good or a bad thing is up to you. But you can be certain that I will obsessively fight for a life with you.”
The gentle light diffusing through the curtains meant that she could make out his expression even in the dark. Perhaps it was the absolute certainty in Vihaan’s voice or the indisputable adoration in his gaze that finally calmed her jitters. She slowly succumbed to the lure of sleep, the vision of him watching her dancing under closed eyelids.
A few minutes later, or maybe it was hours into the night, she heard his baritone voice repeat something that only served to pull her treacherous heart deeper under his spell.
“I choose you. Always.”
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