“I’m not asking for a relationship,” she clarified, trying to placate him. “I’m suggesting a casual. . .situationship.” She couldn’t hold back a grimace at her use of that word, but calling it anything else seemed too serious.
“A w-what?” Rian gulped, unable to believe his ears.
“You heard me.”
“Nothing more?”
“Of course not! I’m not an idiot. It’s like I’m at a pet store. I know what I’m there for: to pet the rabbit, not buy it.”
“A Bugs Bunny reference? Really?” Rian griped, trying to squash his irritation. Her vehement dismissal of wanting more than a fling should have made him feel safe. It didn’t. “Doc, be honest. Why are you asking for this?”
Aditi drew her feet up, wrapping her arms about her shins before resting her chin on her knee. Her usually friendly face was devoid of a smile, all traces of mischief gone.
“Have you been in a serious relationship with anyone?” she asked, her voice barely audible above the drumming in his ear.
Rian shook his head.
He saw her throat working hard, her shoulders stiff. She had never looked so uncomfortable before.
“I was in one a few years ago,” she said, looking down at her clasped hands. She hadn’t expected to discuss her past today, least of all with Rian. He’d asked her for honesty, and she would give him exactly that. “I thought all was good, until it came crashing down around my ears. I don’t have any experience outside of it and I haven’t felt comfortable with another man since then to attempt it again.”
She turned her head to find Rian watching her, his expression devoid of judgement or pity. This gave Aditi the courage to continue.
“The closer I am to getting married, the more I’m worried about what I don’t know. My dates haven’t been working in my favour and I doubt the next one will be any different. I might be on an unexpected break from meeting other men. I figured, I may as well find a different way to experience what I’ve missed out on.”
“So, thissituationshipyou’re proposing is. . .what? A memorabilia of your unmarried days?”
“Yes!” Aditi exclaimed, almost relieved with his input. “That’s the perfect way to explain it. You are so good at figuring me out.”
Was he? Rian wondered if he looked as conflicted as he felt. He had no fucking clue why he wanted to run from her at the same time as run into her.
“See, I’m fairly confident about most things. But the intimacy stuff. . .I would like to be better at that.” Aditi tried not to let her embarrassment show. “I don’t want my inhibitions to affect whatever relationship I would have with my future husband. And I don’t want to go around kissing or hooking up with random guys. My schedule and own sense of safety wouldn’t allow it. But you’re here, I'm living in your house, I feel comfortable with you, and I know you won’t take advantage of me. It’s convenient.”
Hearing himself get described as convenient did nothing for his ego. Or temper. What the fuck was wrong with him? Most men would kill for a no-strings-attached deal handed to them by a gorgeous woman like Aditi. And here he was, acting like a goddamn virgin who was complaining about commitment. Or lack thereof.
“And I’m not asking for exclusivity. I know you don’t want to get married.”
“You do?” he asked dubiously.
She nodded.
“How?”
“I may have heard what you said to Nanamma the night you returned from Singapore.”
“You eavesdropped?”
Her eyes grew round, her face taking on that innocent look she employed every time he caught her being mischievous. It was a look he had grown accustomed to seeing. She shot him a strained smile, scratching lightly behind her ear.
“In my defence, you weren’t very quiet. All I did was stand outside my room and I could hear you.”
At his frown, she folded, not bothering to justify her actions anymore.
“Okay fine,” she admitted. “I was standing outside your room. But I was curious. And I was also the topic of discussion.”
Rian sighed, rubbing his eyes, a sudden tiredness settling into his bones.
“You are absolutely free to continue dating whoever you fancy,” Aditi continued softly, watching this mammoth of a man slump back, his hands covering his face. “If you get serious with someone, we stop. If I get serious with someone, we stop. It’s that simple.”