Silence stretches between us, heavy and suffocating.
Rush steps closer. "Everly, talk to me. What's going on?"
But I can't say the words, can't tell him about the baby.
Not when I don't know if he's going to see it as a trap.
Not when I'm terrified he's going to run.
The tension is unbearable, and I watch him realize something is deeply, fundamentally wrong.
"Everly," he says quietly. "Please tell me what's happening."
But I just stand there, frozen, unable to speak.
And the silence says everything I can't.
21
RUSH
"Everly," I say quietly. "Please tell me what's happening."
But she just stands there frozen, her eyes wide and terrified. The silence stretches and I watch her trying to speak, but nothing comes out.
Something is deeply, fundamentally wrong.
My mind races through possibilities, each one worse than the last. She's sick, someone hurt her, she's leaving me. I step closer carefully, like she's a wild animal that might bolt.
"Whatever it is, we can handle it," I say. "Just tell me."
She opens her mouth, closes it, opens it again. Then she whispers so quietly I almost miss it.
"I'm pregnant."
The words don't land properly at first. There's a moment of complete blankness where my brain can't process what she just said.
Pregnant. She's pregnant. There's a baby. Our baby.
Then it hits all at once and the air leaves my lungs. Shock slams into me first, pure disbelief that this is real, that this is happening. Then fear, immediate and visceral, flooding through my veins like ice water. And underneath it all, something dangerously close to hope that I immediately try to crush.
My chest tightens and I can't breathe properly. My hands are shaking. All I can think about is my father. The violence, the cruelty, the constant fear, the way he turned our house into a war zone, the way he looked at me and Ruby like we were problems to be solved with his fists, the way he enjoyed hurting us.
What if I become him? What if I have a kid and I turn into that monster? What if I'm standing here right now carrying the same capacity for violence he had, just waiting for the right trigger?
"Rush?" Everly's voice cuts through the panic, but I can barely hear her over the roaring in my ears.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. My mind is stuck on a loop, replaying every time my father hit me, every time he made Ruby cry, every time he proved that men could be monsters to the people they're supposed to protect.
"Say something," Everly whispers, and she looks terrified.
I realize I've been standing here silent for too long, just staring at her while my brain short-circuits.
"What if I turn into my father?" The words come out broken and raw.
Her face crumples. "What?"
"My father, he was a monster. He beat the shit out of me for years. He turned his violence on Ruby when she was six years old. What if I'm like him? What if I have a kid and I become that?"