"Yeah, I do. I think she's been into you for a while and she's not happy that you're with someone."
"She's never said anything."
"She doesn't have to say it. It's in the way she looks at you, the way she positions herself near you, the way she talks to me when you're not around."
"I don't see it."
"I know. That's what makes her good at it. She's subtle enough that you don't notice but obvious enough that I do."
He pulls me closer. "Even if you're right, it doesn't matter. I'm with you."
"I know."
"Then why does it bother you?"
"It doesn't bother me. I'm just aware of it. There's a difference. I'm not worried she's going to steal you or whatever. I just don't like being talked to like I'm temporary."
"You're not temporary."
"I know that, but she doesn't."
He kisses my forehead. "You want me to talk to her?"
"No, that'll make it worse. Just...be aware, okay? When she's making comments or touching you or whatever."
"Okay."
We're quiet for a while, then I say, "Are you scared?"
"Of what?"
"This, us, my dad—all of it."
"Terrified."
The honesty surprises me. "Really?"
"Yeah. I'm terrified I'm going to fuck this up, that your dad's going to hate me, that I'm going to prove everyone right about me being too broken for this."
I tilt my head to look at him. "You're not too broken."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do. You're just scared."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No. Being scared means you care enough to worry. Being broken means you don't care at all. You're not broken, Rush, you're just human."
His hand tightens in my hair. "When did you get so smart?"
"I've always been smart. You just didn't notice because you were too busy brooding."
He almost smiles. "Fair enough."
I shift so we're facing each other, his forehead against mine.
"I meant what I said last night," he says quietly. "I'm done running. I'm done hiding. I'm choosing you."