I signed them an hour ago. I signed themNicolo Sestinion every line where it was required, and I signed them with a hand that did not shake, and I set the pen down, and I have been standing at this window since.
The rain is loud against the glass.
The papers are quiet in my hand.
Ti amo, Ti amo, Ti amo.
The phone rings.
I let it ring twice. Long enough to know who it is. Short enough that he doesn't have to wonder whether I knew.
“Sì.”
“Signore.” Rollo's voice is the voice he uses when he has bad news to deliver to a man he respects. “I—”
“There's no need to choose your words, Rollo. I have never had any delicate sensibilities you need to take care of.”
“Signore—”
“Will she be happy with him?”
Chapter Ten
IT'S FINE. I'M GOOD. Everything's good.
I tell myself this as I slip back into my chair across from Elliot, smooth the napkin onto my lap, and apologize for being away.
“Took the scenic route?” Elliot says with a grin.
“Sorry. Long line.”
“Mm-hmm.”
It's fine. I'm good. Everything's good.
It's important that I keep telling myself this, because that means I'm not lying to myself. And to be fair to Elliot, he really is a charming guy, and he's funny, too. I don't have to fake anything. He really does make me laugh.
Or at least he does, on the surface.
But inside, I'm just reeling. Ever since I walked away from Rollo like a coward, it just feels like I've fallen off some mental cliff and I haven't stopped falling since.
Do you really mean it, signora, when you say you believe you'll be happy with him again?
I didn't have an answer for him then.
I still don't have one now.
All I know is that I just...I just can't seem to stop falling, and I don't even know if I'll ever reach the bottom.
Guilt eats me alive as dinner comes to an end.
“I'm so sorry,” I tell him as the waiter clears our plates. “I know this is the worst date ever—”
“You didn't bail out on me though.” He winks. “So I still have hope.”
All I can do is smile weakly.
Juniper, you're such a coward.