Just think of Nate,I urge myself.
Tonight is all about Nate and you.
One foot forward, another one follows.
Husband and wife. That’s it.
My hand starts shaking as I reach for the knob. I’m not sure why that is, but I tell myself it’s okay as the door slowly swings open. In just a matter of seconds, what I’d see, and who I’ll find—that’s what will make all of my fears, doubts, and bridal jitters go away.
But instead, I end up asking myself—
Is this the wrong room? The wrong floor? Or even the wrong dimension?
I’m ready to believe anything and everything, but how can I when that’shiswedding ring on the bedside table, and I know I can’t be mistaken because I was the one who chose it. For him. For the man who just swore to love me and only me...until death do us part.
So why then?
Why is this wedding night not just about him and me, but him and me...andher?
I don’t understand.
I don’t understand.
Somebody, please help me understand.
I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to make some kind of noise that will either wake them up or wake myself up so I can tell myself this is all just a dream.
A very, very bad dream.
I want to run away, but I also want to run into the room and just fall to my knees and beg.
Why did you make me fall in love with you if you were going to kill me like this?
Why fly me all the way to Italy to destroy me?
Why isn’t it enough for him to break my heart on a Tuesday, break it again in a basement parking lot, and now he just has to ruin Lake Como for me, too?
The words running through my mind make me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
But for now, I’m just...numb.
I keep thinking I should move, but it’s as if shock has turned my flesh into stone. I keep thinking any moment now I’ll start crying, and maybe I can even start screaming—I’ll scream this whole place down so that the hotel employees will come running, and we can have this huge, over-the-top fight, and this whole thing will go viral, and everyone will know they cheated on me.
Maybe then I can start crying.
Maybe then I’ll actually start hurting.
Because right now...the tears just won’t come.
I can’t feel anything. I can’t evenhearanything. And it’s this stark, heartless silence that will give me nightmares for months. I keep touching my eyes, but they’re just absolutely, terribly dry.
It’s as if they’re telling me that this pain, this betrayal...
Is something I’ll just have to live with forever.
Chapter One
MONDAYS IN THE SUMMERare made of two sounds.