“I can handle the cold, Sis. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I rarely swore in front of her, but I was losing my shit already, and what I’d picked up in her tone was the last thing I needed right now.
Unfazed by my unnecessary aggression, she told Michele to give us some privacy. He walked away and stood at a distance, his back to us. She, the fucker listened to. Unbelievable.
She linked arms with me and started, switching direction toward the greenhouse. “It means you don’t have to protect me anymore. You don’t have to hide your feelings or let yourself cry only when I wasn’t looking. I’d been listening to your tears for so long.”
“What?”
“You know, when you thought I was sleeping, at our old place, at the academy, at the apartment. I’d always listened, but I didn’t want to say anything before because I know how proud you are.”
I chuckled at my stupidity. “Great. Another failure to add to the list.”
“How about you start saying what you really want to say instead?”
“Excuse me?”
“C’mon, Nicky. Say what you really feel for once. Blame me for what’s happening. Tell me that if I hadn’t been married to Tino, none of this would have happened.”
Shaking my head, I chuckled again with zero humor. “Again, that marriage was my fault. I was the one who brought you here in the first place, remember? I brought you to the wolf myself, thinking he’d protect you from his psycho son instead of protecting you myself, and look what happened.”
She opened the door to the greenhouse. “None of this is your fault. You gotta stop blaming yourself because it’s for nothing. I know you don’t believe or accept it, but marrying Tino was the best thing that ever happened to me. Being with him was a choice I made, not something he forced me into. You gotta stop using me as an excuse.”
I stopped. “An excuse for what?”
“For putting your life on hold, convincing yourself you have to give up everything to protect and take care of me, for running away from what you really need to deal with.”
I put down my arm, leaving her hold. “Are you kidding me right now? Jesus Christ, Lina. What do you know about what I really need to deal with?” My life was at stake here, courtesy of the precious murderer of a husband she idolized. But, of course, I had to hide it from her, not to give her the protection she now despised, but to save my own life because she’d never believe me.
“More than you think. I know you better than anyone.” She looked away for a moment. “And I know Tino, too.”
My eyes narrowed at her. Was she hinting at something? A flicker of hope entered my heart. “What exactly did he tell you? What do you think you know?”
She glanced around, as if making sure no one was watching or listening. But even if it looked like no one was close—Michele was twenty feet away—someone was always watching in this Godforsaken place. She closed the door and took me to one of the benches among the plants. Then she made me sit with her. “I know you don’t allow yourself to feel or be vulnerable. You always have to be tough. You have to scare everybody away so you’d feel safe. But what you need to understand is that you don’t need to do this anymore. You have to start living your own life, Nicky.”
And you have to start not being so fucking oblivious. “Iwasliving my life. The lifeIchose to live, until…”
“Until you met Dom. You couldn’t resist him. I know the feeling.”
“Holy fuck! Are you out of your mind? I didn’t… I can’t believe this shit. But why the fuck did I think you’d believe me over him?”
She lifted her index finger carefully and put it on her lips, and then she mouthed, “Of course, I believe you.”
Confusion filled me. “Do you?”
She pulled me into her embrace, her mouth to my ear. “Yes. Always. I’ll believe you over anybody. Every single time. Please, just play along and try to understand what I’m trying to tell you.”
When she pulled away, her eyes beseeching me, my breath caught. I didn’t know what she was up to or what she really knew, but if I was sure of one thing, it was that I trusted my sister with my life.
I nodded with a sigh, giving her what she asked for as Michele’s shadow tinted the glass doors. “You’re right. I’m sorry I lied. I couldn’t resist him.”
“It’s okay. It’s a good thing he wants to do the right thing…and Tino wouldn’t killhim.”
My heart skipped a beat. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? Did she know Tino threatened to kill me?
“You know why he didn’t? Why he wants you two to get married?” she asked, her eyes misting with tears.
Yes. Very well. But did she?