I could be the respectable guy—a father and a police officer who cared about his family and the community.I could also be the deviant fucker—the guy who got off on being dominant and having two lovers.
Both men were me.And both sides of me were perfectly fucking fine.
Even so, I kept my expression flat when Chantel and Sean walked through the door hand in hand.
She looked stunning in a deep green dress, her hair pinned up the way she’d worn it at the wedding, and a small smile fixed on her face like she’d practiced it in the car.
Sean was right beside her in a button-down shirt, his hair combed for once, and wearing the casual confidence of a man who had everything going for him.The rest of the room would never guess how practiced that look was.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Chantel’s temple, and I took a casual sip of my drink to hide the way my jaw tightened.
It wasn’t a surprise.This was exactly what we’d discussed.They’d tell everyone they were dating, and Sean was my new best friend.
Who would question it?
The lie would make it easier to excuse our behavior in public.And we wouldn’t have to divulge our unconventional relationship.There’d be no scandal, no whispers, no questions.
Hell, the scheme was my idea.But it was still a punch to the gut seeing them so easily connected.Without me.
Jealousy and anger were easy.It had been my go-to combination with Jamie for years.But I was done with easy.And the truth was, watching them together was a visceral fucking reminder of what it felt like to be naked between them.
Chantel’s eyes caught mine from her spot near the doorway, my insides heating when I recognized the spark of lust in her gaze.Even from this distance, I could feel it.
Sean, on the other hand, played it relaxed and cool.He didn’t even look in my direction, and I was perfectly okay with that.
“I’d be careful with that if I were you.”Eric came to stand beside me.
I looked over.The first thing I noticed was that he was alone—no Jamie in sight.The second was the worried crease of his forehead.
My gut twisted.“Careful with what?”
He stared hard for a moment, and I wondered if he knew.“That smile you’re wearing.I’m not sure if I’ve seen one on you quite that big before.People will think you’re enjoying yourself.”
“You really think I’m an asshole, don’t you?”I laughed, because I really didn’t care anymore.
“Fuck, man…it’s not like you made the best first impression.But no.I can see how hard you’ve been trying, and I know you’re not as bad as I originally thought.”
Eric’s holier-than-thou attitude might still drive me up a wall, but at least he had integrity.Jamie and Hunter could do a hell of a lot worse.
“Well, you’re not as bad as I thought either.”I turned my focus to look him in the eye.“You may not know it, but my son is more important to me than anything else in this world.And I appreciate that you treat him like he’s your own.I didn’t like it at first.But I’m not stupid enough to ignore the alternatives.If it couldn’t be me, I’m happy it’s someone like you.”
“Huh.”His eyebrows rose in surprise.“I appreciate that.And I appreciate that you’ve stopped chasing Jamie.”
Hunter’s laugh cut through the room from the direction of the buffet table.I glanced over to see him elbowing Caleb over some shared joke, both of them doubled over.
Eric clapped me lightly on the shoulder and moved off to find his wife, leaving me alone with a drink in my hand and his words circling through my head.
Stopped chasing Jamie.
I hadn’t thought about it until now, but it was true.I wasn’t playing the game with her anymore or trying to force my way back into her heart.I knew she didn’t love me.And I was okay with that, too.
Because I didn’t love her anymore either.
And it felt good.Really fucking good.
Most people will tell you falling in love is the best thing that ever happened to them.For me, it was falling out of love.
Maybe love’s a fantastic thing when it’s reciprocated.But when you’re like me, stuck in a loop of rejected atrophy, love can make you sick and twisted.