Sean was a reaction.Chantel was a hunger.
He pushed my boundaries, challenged my control, and made me feel like the guy I used to be, before I’d turned responsible.She made me feel like the guy I might become—still me, just a better, happier version.
Deep down, a part of me wanted them both.
But having both wasn’t an option for a guy like me.I couldn’t keep two lovers who didn’t know about each other.I hadn’t made promises to either of them, and already, I felt like I was cheating.
Eventually, I’d have to choose.
The thought shoved me sideways into another one I'd been avoiding for a long time.
Jamie.
She'd been the shape of my whole adult self.The axis everything else rotated around.I'd built my career, my reputation, even my decision to stay in Copper Ridge, around the possibility that she might one day come back to me.
But sitting here by a dying fire, my son asleep a few feet away and Chantel's voice still in my head, I couldn't remember the last time Jamie had made me feel anything but tired.
Had what I felt for her all these years ever really been love?Maybe it was just damage leftover from a dream I didn't know how to let go of.A scar I picked at until it bled, calling the blood proof I still cared.
Maybe that’s why I couldn't choose between Sean and Chantel, either.Because for the first time in my life, both options in front of me were real.Neither of them was a comfort from my past.Neither of them was a wound I'd trained myself to mistake for a home.
And the idea of moving on to something unknown, something out of my control, scared the shit out of me.
Still, something in me was waking up, turning restless.Demanding more.
All I had to do was make up my mind and go for it.