He presses harder, enough to make me squirm. The entire ladder of scars on my leg reacts like he’s dipped them into acid. It isn’t a good type of pain.
“Fine,” I say. “No more cutting.”
He nods, like he was always certain I’d agree. “And no more skipping meals.”
“I don’t?—”
He just looks at me without blinking, the gold flecks steady in his eyes.
“I eat when I’m hungry,” I finally say.
“And now you’ll eat when you aren’t. Three meals a day.”
I shake my head. “I’ll boke if I eat when I don’t need to.”
“You need to,” he says. He looks around the room, glancingat his range of torture devices. “You’re no good to me if you don’t have stamina.”
Stamina. I’ll show him feckin’ stamina.
“Then yeah,” I say. “I’ll eat.” But when he bares his teeth in a victorious smile, I mutter, “Jaysus. What a feckin’ honeymoon.”
“No honeymoon,” he says, like he’s just come up with another rule. “What we have is strictly a business transaction.”
I take my time, turning my head to look at the metal cross. “Business,” I say, earnestly, like we both don’t know he’s talking bollocks.
That earns me another one of those snorts. I realize that’s how he laughs when he doesn’t want anyone to know.
Pushing himself to his feet, he extends his hand to help me stand. “Come on, Mrs. Wolf. Let me show you the rest of the house.”
“Lynch,” I say.
“What?” He’s honestly confused.
“I’m not Mrs. Wolf. I’ll never be Mrs. Wolf. I’m Kate Lynch, same as I’ve always been.”
He shakes his head. “Unacceptable.”
I’ll let him tie me up. I’ll see his goddamn doctor. But I will never, ever take his name. I need one thing that’s mine.
“Force me,” I warn him. “And you’ll regret it. I swear to God, you’ll have to hide every knife in this house. Sleep with one eye open. Lock me in a cage.”
He glances at the huge black bed, at the mattress positioned above iron bars. “That can be arranged,” he says, his voice deceptively mild.
“I’ll kill you,” I say evenly. “And if that doesn’t work, I’ll kill myself.”
He studies me forever, his gaze stripping me down to muscle and bone. His lips curl back from his teeth in a silent snarl. But finally, he says, “Ms. Lynch. May I show you the rest of your home?”
He asked nicely. So I let him.
27
COLE
I’ve been downstairs for five hours when Nilsson delivers my morning smoothie, along with confirmation that Dr. Patel will see Kate at two this afternoon, per my middle-of-the-night text.
I couldn’t sleep next to Kate, not even for my usual four hours. It wasn’t the lamp left on, in accordance with our agreement. I’ve long since trained myself to snatch my hard-won sleep anywhere, under any conditions.
It was the fact that I wanted to fuck my wife.