What am I doing? Sitting here beside him like I'm his, when I'm the one who's going to betray him?
Guilt crashes over me. I see Mila's face—trusting, finally feeling safe. Then Lev telling me about finding his family dead. About Mila sitting in their blood.
My chest tightens so hard I can't breathe.
"Valerie." Lev's voice cuts through my spiral. "You alright?"
"Fine." The lie is automatic. "Just... a lot to take in."
His eyes narrow, studying me. Then his hand moves higher on my thigh. Possessive. "Stay close. This world can be overwhelming if you're not used to it."
I nod because I can't speak.
Tash catches my eye from across the section and slightly jerks her head. A clear signal for me to follow her lead.
I wait a few minutes, then lean close to Lev. "Bathroom?"
He looks at me for a long moment, as if he's deciding to dictate nature’s call. Then nods. "Don't take long."
I stand on shaking legs and head toward the back.
The bathroom is all black marble and gold fixtures, designed to match the club's excess. Tash is already inside, grinning.
"So." She crosses her arms. "You're fucking him."
"Tash—"
"Don't even try to deny it. I can see it all over you." She gestures at me. "The way he touches you. The way you let him. How long?"
"A few days." I move to the sink, needing something to do with my hands. "It's... complicated."
"Of course it's complicated. You're sleeping with the man you're supposed to be spying on." She lowers her voice, glancing at the door. "Have you told him?"
"No. And I can't. If he finds out—"
"He'll kill you. I know." She moves closer. "But this can't go on forever, Val. Something has to give."
"I know!" It comes out too loud. I lower my voice. "You think I don't know that? Patrick has Ethan. He sent photos—Ethan's face is destroyed, Tash. He's being tortured because I'm not moving fast enough. But if I give Patrick what he wants, Lev dies. And Mila—"
"Loses another parent." Her expression softens. "This is so fucked."
"I know." I press my hands over my face. "Every choice ends with someone I care about bleeding."
She grabs my shoulders. "Then pick the choice you can live with. Because this middle ground? It's going to implode. And you need to know which side you're on when it does."
"I don't know—"
"Yes, you do." Her eyes are serious. "You're falling for him. I can see it."
"It's not love—"
"I didn't say love. I said falling. And Val?" She squeezes my shoulders. "For what it's worth? Enjoy it while you can. The sex, the danger, all of it. Because life's too short for regrets, and you might not get another chance."
She leaves, and I'm alone with my reflection.
I look different. Eyes wilder. Lips swollen. Like someone who belongs in this dangerous world.
The thought terrifies me.