Lev dies.
My finger hovers over the send button.
I can't do it.
Why can't I do it? Ethan is my brother. This should be easy.
But it's not easy. Because in three weeks, a lot has changed.
I love Mila. Actually love her. That part isn't pretend. I can’t bear to hurt her. I can’t do it.
And Lev—
But Ethan is my brother.
I throw the phone across the room before I can hit send.
It hits the wall and clatters to the floor, and I curl into a ball and sob until there's nothing left.
I call Tash at 3:30 AM because I have no one else.
She answers immediately, voice alert despite the hour. "Val? What's wrong?"
"Patrick has Ethan." The words come out broken. "He sent me a photo. Ethan's tied up, bleeding, and Patrick says if I don't send Lev's schedule in twenty-four hours, he'll start cutting off fingers."
Silence. Then: "Fuck."
"I have the schedule. I photographed his planner days ago. All I have to do is send it, and Ethan goes free."
"But if you send it—"
"Lev dies. I know." I'm crying again. Can't stop. "Patrick will ambush him. Kill him and probably everyone with him. Maybe even little Mila. Definitely Lev."
"And you care about that." It's not a question.
"I don't know! I shouldn't care. I barely know him. He's terrifying and violent, and he's using me just like Patrick is—"
"Val." Tash's voice cuts through my spiral. "Do you care about Lev Volkov? Yes or no."
I open my mouth to say no. The truth comes out instead. "I'm addicted to him. To the way he looks at me. The way he touches me. The darkness in him that matches something in me I didn't know existed. I can't stop thinking about him even though I know I should."
"That's not the same as caring."
"No. It's worse." I press my hand over my mouth to muffle a sob. "Because I'm drawn to him in ways I can't control. And I love Mila. Actually love her. She trusts me. She feels safe with me. And if I send this schedule, Lev dies, and she loses her only parent, and I’ll live with knowing I did that to her."
"But if you don't send it, Ethan dies."
"I know!"
The silence stretches.
"What do I do, Tash? How do I choose?"
"I don't know." Her voice is quiet. Honest. "There's no good answer here. Either way, someone you care about gets hurt. Either way, you live with the consequences."
"I can't send it." The words come out certain. Final. "I can't kill Lev. Can't orphan Mila. I just—I can't."
"Then you need to tell Lev what's happening. Let him help—"