And if Valerie is carrying my child, I need to be present. Strong. Ready for whatever comes.
Even if the possibility terrifies me more than anything Patrick could do.
Two more days.
Then the truth comes out.
And I'll have to face whatever comes next.
The hope. The fear. The overwhelming responsibility of another life depending on me not to fail.
I drink until the sun comes up.
Thinking about babies and betrayal and whether I'm strong enough to survive loving someone that vulnerable again.
Thinking about Valerie with my child growing inside her.
Thinking about Mila as a big sister.
Thinking about all the ways this could go wrong.
And the one way it could go right.
If I'm very lucky.
If I'm very careful.
If Patrick dies before he can take this from me too.
Two more days.
Then everything changes.
Again.
Chapter twenty-five
Valerie
Iwait until Mila is asleep.
Until the house is quiet except for the distant murmur of guards changing shifts and the soft hum of security systems.
Until I've rehearsed the words so many times they sound foreign in my own head.
Then I go to find Lev.
He's in his study like I knew he'd be. Sitting behind his desk with reports spread in front of him, a glass of vodka at his elbow. He looks up when I knock, and something in my expression makes him set down his pen.
"What's wrong?"
I close the door behind me. Lock it. Turn to face him with my heart hammering so hard I taste copper.
"I need to tell you something."
He goes still. That predator stillness he gets when calculating threat levels. "Alright."
I move closer. Stop on the other side of his desk because I need the barrier, need something between us when I say this.