With my back against the shower wall, Fitz moves down my body again, kissing every inch of skin, while I brace myself on the wooden wall, feeling alive for the first time in years. Maybe in my entire life. For now, I only focus on what I feel.
And it’s everything.
He kneels and plants more kisses along my inner thigh, and I sigh and rest my head against the cool tile of the shower wall, feeling like a hot-blooded Duchess with a very skilled footman. His tongue trails over the skin at the top of one thigh before licking straight up my center. I can’t stifle the moan that leaps from my throat as he circles my clit over and over again until my eyes flutter shut, and I lose sense of time and place.
My hands fist in his hair as he works me closer to orgasm, as I nudge his face and pull him up until he’s pressed hard against me. He lifts me with my back against the glass and holdsme there while he slides inside, sinking in deep, moving slowly to make room for his entire length and swiveling his hips until we’re in perfect rhythm.
The sensation of having him bare inside me mounts with every movement and thrust. I don’t care if the neighbors can hear me three counties over. Right now, there’s only one neighbor I’m interested in, and he’s about to make me forget my own name.
Fitz tips my chin up so he’s staring into my eyes, his own hooded, dark, and stormy in the steam.
We move together until we’re both screaming out, gripping each other, hurtling up and over. My senses explode, and my thoughts go hazy. It’s all exquisite sensation. All so good.
We fold into each other under the hot water and hold on, each of us breathing hard, neither of us speaking. I turn my cheek to rest against his chest.
My head spins with endorphins and feelings and questions. Finally, I feel steady enough to ask the one that keeps bubbling to the top. “What does this mean?”
Fitz bends and kisses my lips. Gently. Carefully. Then he wraps me in his arms and answers against my neck. “It means we’re complicated.”
I feel okay leaving it at that. It feels like we need to stay in the present for the moment, so I stay there for the rest of the weekend.
And when it’s time for me to go back to LA, I feel like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind in Willow Springs. A crucial piece. My heart.
CHAPTER 24
Tessa
“I'm soglad you suggested this lunch.” Sally Ferdman fluffs her blond bob, scans her menu, and snaps it shut. She's the senior partner at my law firm and my unofficial mentor, and it’s taken us weeks to get this lunch on her calendar.
As a junior associate, I worked on her cases and studied how she calmly synthesized information and presented it convincingly at trial. Her work style is as impeccable as her dark pantsuits and carefully-applied coral lipstick.
“Thanks for doing this with me. I know you’re busy, so I really appreciate you taking the time.” I grimace at how my hands are flitting about and force them into my lap, staring as if admonishing them to stay put.
“Tessa.”
I look up at Sally’s pink lipstick smile. “Yes?”
“You seem nervous.”
“I-I’m…”
“It’s lunch. We’re colleagues, and we both have to eat. Whatever you want to talk to me about stays between us.” Herstare is intimidating until the corner of her mouth flinches, the only sign that she’s not 100 percent comfortable herself. “But if this is where you tell me you’re not coming back after your maternity leave, you need to give me a moment.” Her smile looks strained, and I realize for the first time that she really is worried about losing me as an employee.
“Oh. No. Of course I’m coming back! I’m just as committed to my career here as I always have been.”
She holds up a hand to stop me from emphasizing my commitment even more. “I see your passion, Tessa. And I know it’s a balancing act, work and family, but I have no doubt you’ll pull it off.”
I relax ever so slightly. “Thank you. I intend to give it my all. This is about something else. I’d love your advice on how to pitch a pro bono case to the senior partners.”
Sally’s face relaxes. “Oh, now you’re speaking my language. Tell me more.”
I take a quick moment to scan the menu. It was Sally's idea to go to a white tablecloth place down the street from our office in Century City. It's where some of the partners meet with new clients, but I'm never the one who meets with those clients, so there hasn’t been a reason for me to come here.
I'm still pretty fond of McDonald's or the vending machine downstairs. Still eating my single girl dinners most nights, though I’ve added more protein and vegetables so the baby gets what it needs.
Everything on the menu looks delicious but expensive. I'm planning to treat Sally to lunch because I invited her, but as soon as we order, she hands her credit card to the server and tells me lunch is going on the company tab.
I order a Cobb salad, and Sally orders salmon and rice pilaf. Eating fish for lunch seems sophisticated, somehow, and I wonder if I’ll ever be the kind of person who does that. Doubtful.