1
ALANA
There were a lot of days in my life I wished never happened, or moments where I could’ve just disappeared… Today seemed to be one of those days.
Person after person was pushing past me, passing red cup after red cup into their friends’ hands. Actually, they could’ve been passing strangers a drink, and I bet neither of the parties involved noticed, let alone cared.
My uncle used to tell me how much he enjoyed college and how it was the best time of his life. I believed him, but now I realized he’d been lying. Or, well, at least I was having a whole different experience.
I liked parties to an extent… when they were private, for instance. Huge college parties in one of the frat or sorority houses werenotone of those parties I enjoyed.
The most amount of alcohol I drank was an occasional glass of wine when I was sitting down in the evening to watch a movie, which, to be fair, wasn’t often. I had nothing against alcohol, nor did I care when everyone surrounding me was so drunk thatthey’d been talking nonsense all night long. Unless it was a daily occurrence, then it would’ve gotten annoying.
Anyway, and I mean this in the most kindest way possible:
I did noteverwant a drink from a stranger.
And each time I declined a drink from said stranger tonight, I was met with a weird look.
A year ago, I would’ve thought they were looking at me weirdly because my thighs were a little too big, or because I didn’t dress up in skimpy short dresses with tons of glitter. Or a mini skirt with… who even knew? Barely a bikini top as a cover for their tits, perhaps?
Alana from a year ago hadissues. Alana from the present was totally healed, with no issues at all. Nope. None. I was the healthiest of healthy girls in theentireuniverse. And those looks I was met with were only because I declined a free drink at a party.
Except, this was still a frat party, every drink was free, and everyone was so drunk they wouldn’t have thought for even a second about that.
What they did probably care about, though, was the way my back rolls pushed against my dress, ready to rip it apart at the seams. Or the way my stomach was framed by the non-forgiving fabric. And they also thought it was ridiculous that I squeezed myself into a dress that wasat leasttwo sizes too small.
Three if it were up to me.
But if I voiced all those concerns to my best friend, she would’ve murdered me right on the spot.
As we passed a group of guys, even Asiya noticed them staring, eyebrows raised almost to the sky.
“I told you, this dress lookshoton you!” she shouted over the loud music that was playing in the background. How the police hadn’t been called yet, I didn’t know.
“Sure,” I said, just to avoid her lecture. Those looks weren’t thechecking-a-girl-outkind of looks; they were far worse. They were the kind of looks that made your skin crawl. The kind of looks that sent shivers down your spine in the worst way possible, spreading dread through your veins.
They were filled with disgust.
“You look gorgeous, Alana,” Asiya insisted, laying her hands on my shoulders as she looked at me. “And tonight, you’re finally going to find someone who wants to pop your cherry.” She winked at me before her attention moved past my shoulder. “With a little bit of luck, Austin might be the one.”
“No, thank you,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “I don’t need half-assed sex with some random, definitely drunk guy from a frat party.”
Though, to be fair, Austin Bennett might have been theonlyguy on campus I would’ve been okay with. He was kind of popular, though his popularity was nothing compared to the guys from our university’s hockey team.
Austin was one of the most handsome guys I’d ever laid eyes on. Unfortunately for me, he was going to stay a fantasy forever. There was no way heeverwanted to be seen with someone like me.
“My, God, Lana, have some fun for a change!” Asiya laughed, then wrapped her hand around my wrist to pull me out of the kitchen.
“I can have fun without taking off my clothes.” I crossed my arms as we stood outside on the back porch. It was a lot less crowded out here, and a bit quieter. However, the music was still blasting so loudly, I was going to have hearing problems if they turned the volume up any louder.
“Sure you can,” she said, shrugging at me. “And I didn’t mean it, you know that. But honestly, wouldn’t you like to have a little fling? It doesn’t have to be serious if you’re not ready for that.”
I shook my head no. “What’s the point in those?”
“To get laid.”
I shoved her away from me, laughing. “You might want to see a doctor. This behavior doesn’t seem healthy.”