What I did know was that Reece didn’t get to meet his other brother and he never really met his older sister either—they both died pretty young. While Reece couldn’t remember them, Colin could and so, in my mind, it made sense that Colin was looking out for Reece like no other; making sure he lived the most fulfilled life with not a single care in the world.
“Anyway,” Rina said with a sigh. Her eyes wandered around the room once more. “How could you give up living in Staten Island for… this?” She looked at me again, eyebrows drawn together. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute. But you moved away from a rich neighborhood with peace and quiet to a place that’s fifteen minutes away from your campus. I’m pretty sure I saw a Fraternity house just down the road. It’ll be a miracle if you get one quiet weekend here.”
I rested my chin on top of my knees, sighing so quietly, I was sure Rina couldn’t even hear it. “It’s only until Reece and I finish college. After graduation, we’ll either move back close to our families or find a place near the arena of whichever team he’ll end up playing for.”
“What if he gets drafted by a team in California?” she asked.
My shoulders lifted into a shrug. “Then we’ll find a place there.”
“You’d move across the country for a boyfriend?”
My smile collapsed. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I?”
I mean, I definitely would’ve preferred to stay close to myfamily, but if I had to choose between going with him or giving up on him, I’d definitely choose the former.
And, yeah, okay, perhaps I was struggling a lot with being too far away from my dad specifically, but I also knew that it was going to be okay. I could always call him.
I was afraid that if I’d been too far away from home and something happened to my father, my mom, or even my siblings, I couldn’t make it in time to potentially save them. I was afraid that I’d lose them all; that they’d need me and I wasn’t there.
I had always been very anxious about losing people that I loved and not being there when I was needed, but I’d been in therapy for it for like three years. These days, while it still scared me, I could live on my own and I knew that those fears were triggered by a disorder. I could identify triggers and I knew how to calm my anxiety, so it was okay.
I knew I was never going to be alone, and that even if something happened back home, my family was surrounded by people who I trusted and knew would stop everything to make sure everyone was okay.
So even if I left, they’d be fine.
But Rina couldn’t have known that I had these fears because I had never told her about them before.
“Isn’t Reece your first boyfriend ever?” she asked, caution in her voice. Before I could get defensive at all, she held up one of her hands. “Hold on, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I actually think it’s really adorable, and you guys are the cutest.”
“But?”
“Buuut, as someone who moved to a different country for college, I know that leaving your family is a big step. With Reece gone most of the time because of ice hockey, and your unwillingness to make friends, you’ll be really lonely.”
I held my knees closer to my chest, trying my hardest to suppress the tears from building up just thinking about leaving New York. “Moving from New York to California or anywhere in the country is different from moving from Ireland to the US though.”
Rina nodded. “He could be drafted by a Canadian team.”
Chills ran down my spine at the thought of potentially moving to Canada.
It would be okay though, I knew that. At the very least, I really hoped that I’d be okay.
“But either way, the location doesn’t change the fact that you’ll be lonely,” she added. “Didn’t you tell me that Reece’s brother is in the NHL? So you should know how often he’s gone and how that might affect his family.”
“Are you trying to stop me from living with Reece after college?” It sure sounded like it to me.
Rina shook her head instantly. “I’m a realist, Brooke. I’m just telling you what you know but refuse to acknowledge.”
She was right. I knew that if Reece didn’t get drafted by the Rangers, another team would want him and he’d have to move. However, I’d always known that no matter where Reece was going to end up, I’d be with him.
His dream was the NHL, and who was I to stop him from making that dream come true?
If I had to force myself into conversations with other hockey girlfriends or wives just so I wouldn’t be as lonely, then I could do that for him.
A soft smile pulled on my lips as I looked at my best friend. “He’s worth the loneliness though.”
“Oh, my God.” Rina closed her eyes as she fell against the sofa, holding a hand over her heart. “I take it back. You guys are gross.” She opened one eye just to make sure I wasstill looking at her. “You should break up so I can shoot my shot with you.”
“Maybe in another life.”