Did it hurt that he didn’t tell me? Sure, it did, but I couldn’t change it.
I should’ve asked what Kieran was talking about when he mentioned Erik, but I didn’t even have to. I knew Reece didn’t like Erik, I knew he wanted me to terminate the contract. He’d been pretty clear about that a while ago.
I just wished he told me how deep that hatred really went.
There was so much space between us, space that had never been there before. And we’d never stayed quiet for this long.
The longer we stayed silent with nothing to say, the deeper my heart sank. With every passing second, more pieces broke, and pain surged through every inch of me until, eventually, tears were streaming down my face.
As a sob escaped me, Reece closed the distance between us.
His hands were on my face, thumbs swiping underneath my eyes as if that was going to make me stop crying.
“Do you want me to drive you home?” were the first words that left his mouth. Part of me wished he said something entirely different.
I took a deep breath or tried to anyway. “I’ll talk to Ilya first thing in the morning,” I forced out. “I’ll terminate my contract with Erik.”
“You don’t have to,” he replied. As much as he tried to hide it, I could hear the slight hint of desperation in his voice. No matter what he was going to say, Reece would always want me to terminate the contract. He just didn’t want to be the reason for it.
I wrapped my hand around his wrists just to hold him. “I can find a new partner for next season, Reece. I… I knew you never liked him, but I failed to see how much worse your hatred got over the past weeks.”
It made sense, though. Ever since Erik told me to break up with Reece if I wanted to keep him as a skating partner, and I actually considered it… I should’ve known he was worried I’d do it again.
“It doesn’t matter,” Reece said. “This is your dream, Brooke. You can’t make it to the ISU Grand Prix without him. You spent all summer at practice to make sure your program was perfect. You were so excited for this year, and I can’t take that away from you. I just…”
“You just?”
His hands slid down to my waist, holding me as he pulled me against his body. “I just can’t lose you. Yet every day you spend with him, I can’t breathe until you’re back in my arms, and I know that we’re okay. Every goddamn day you go to practice, I’m wondering if you’ll come back home and end our relationship for good. And the worst thing is, I get it. You’ve dreamt of making it to the ISU Grand Prix way before you were even old enough to participate. Erik is your guaranteedticket to get there. So if breaking up with me means you’ll get there, then I wouldn’t even be mad at you. But that doesn’t mean I fear it happening any less.”
I wrapped my arms around Reece’s body, hugging him so tightly to my own that I was almost convinced I was cutting off his air supply, but he wasn’t complaining.
“I wasn’t thinking,” I told him, keeping my voice quiet so we wouldn’t attract any more attention from strangers around us. “He got into my head that one time and?—”
“Exactly,” Reece interrupted. “He did it once and he’ll do it again. But I can’t complain about it because I want to see you succeed more than I need you in my life, Brooke. You deserve that victory.”
My head shook against his body, my tears wetting his sweatshirt. “That victory would mean nothing to me if I couldn’t celebrate it with you.”
His arms around me tightened, and I honestly didn’t even know it was possible. “I’ll always be here when you need me,mi princesa.”
I didn’t doubt it.
“Why would Kieran say you didn’t want to marry me?” I asked before I had the chance to forget about it and pretend it never bothered me.
Reece and I had to relearn how to talk, so might as well start now.
It didn’t surprise me that everyone was talking about Reece and me. They were worried about us, especially since they clearly noticed our fights even if I thought we were hiding them pretty well.
But that didn’t explain why Kieran thought Reece didn’t want to marry me.
“Because he’s ten and he doesn’t know that just because I tell my parents to stop asking when I’m going to propose toyou, it doesn’t mean I never plan to.” Reece pulled back just to look at me. “Fuck, Brooke. We’re only twenty. If everyone knew I already had a ring for you, they’d think I’m crazy. You don’t even want to move out of your parents’ house yet, which, I’d genuinely want you to do when we get engaged. To be honest, I’d rather we’re already living in our own place before we even get engaged.”
He had a good point… though, he was wrong about one thing.
I wanted to move out of my parents’ place, but it wouldn’t have made sense while I was still going to Juilliard.
Finding an apartment in the middle of New York City was almost impossible. And, okay, perhaps Dad would’ve paid the rent for me, and I was sure Reece’s parents would’ve helped him to pay for his part as well. But it was useless for Reece to move somewhere close to Juilliard for me just to still take an hour to get to St. Trewery.
It made more sense for him to move to New City.