“I was thinking about picking college back up,” he told me. “At least give it a try, you know?”
“Really?” I followed him into the kitchen, leaning against the refrigerator. He hadn’t mentioned anything about college in weeks. The assignments I brought home for him, I did all the work because he just wouldn’t. The last thing he needed right now was failing his classes as well.
“Yes. I’ll even go back to hockey next week.”
“You are?” Why didn’t he tell me that he was thinking about it? Reece usually told meallof his thoughts, even if they made no sense. He used to say that even if he didn’tmake sense, I’d find a way to make it sound like he did, so he always told me everything.
We could’ve been deadly silent, and out of the blue, Reece would start babbling about super random things that popped up in his head. Why didn’t he tell me about his plans earlier?
“Yup. I’ll need your notes, though, so I don’t look stupid.”
“Of course.” It was a good thing that we had the exact same classes. Somehow I knew it was going to come in handy one day.
Reece pushed the pan aside and grabbed two plates from the upper cabinets. Meanwhile, I went to get some forks and two glasses and set them down on our kitchen table. It wasn’t a very big one, but it was enough for both of us. Though the huge bouquet of dried flowers was in the way, so I set it aside in the living room while we ate.
“I was at the cemetery today,” he said as he set both of our plates down opposite from each other. Reece pulled back a chair for me, then pressed a kiss to the top of my head as I took a seat before he made his way around the table.
“You were?” My eyebrows rose in surprise.
Thinking about it, he looked like he left the house. He was dressed and didn’t smell like alcohol, so he took a shower. His hair was cared for, and not because I did it for him. He looked like the old Reece, the one before his world came crumbling down.
He even smiled.
I hadn’t seen Reece smile in so long.
“Yes.” Reece reached a hand over the table, holding mine. His thumb brushed over my knuckles, then he kissed the ring on my finger. “We should go on a date.”
“Hold up.” I wanted to pull my hand away, but I fearedthat if I did, he’d feel rejected in a way, so I didn’t. “I mean, yeah, sure, let’s do that.”
His eyebrows fell. “But?”
“No buts.” I laughed awkwardly. “I just… I wanted to ask about you going to your dad’s grave. That’s huge, Reece.”
He let go of my hand. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Did you go alone?”
He nodded. “I wanted to wait for you and ask if you’d come with me, but I realized it was going to take a couple more hours, so I just went alone.”
I smiled at him softly, proudly.
I was waiting for that relieved feeling to kick in, for me to feel like my life was going to go back to normal… but it never came. There was a voice in the back of my head, whisperingjust you wait. It wasn’t over, I wasn’t even sure the ending was in sight.
I wanted to help Reece so badly, but all I did was cover for him. I always covered for him, even when we were younger. It was wrong, I knew that, but I felt awful just thinking about making him look bad in front of our families.
He asked me not to tell anyone that he didn’t leave the apartment or that he drank a lot. I should’ve told someone when it started, or at least when I noticed it was getting bad. Now I was a bit too afraid to tell someone because Reece was in too deep.
There was a chance he was going to leave me if I got him help, but that was better than him destroying himself. Then again, he promised he was getting better, that it just took him a minute longer than expected.
I believed him when I shouldn’t have.
“It’s not a big deal,” he added, brushing off going outside like it was nothing.
It was a big deal, but I wasn’t going to say this aloud. Ifhe wanted to downplay his accomplishment, I had to go with it for now. The last thing I wanted to do was startle him and set him back somehow.
It looked like he was doing better today, so perhaps he really was trying.
“So, uh… our date?” I said, hoping it was going to light the mood again. We hadn’t gone out in so long, I could barely remember the last time we spent quality time together.