“He doesn’t want to see you!” Ah, so heishere after all. Somehow, knowing this makes me feel worse. “He’s not in the right… state to have a conversation.”
“I don’t give a shit.” I barge into Luan’s room, shutting the door right in Doro’s face because as much as I know Luan might want her around, I don’t, not right now anyway. I lock the door and then turn around only to find Luan lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with an empty bottle of whisky in his arms.
The very moment I realize what he’s done, my entire soul breaks for him. He’s going to hate himself more than ever when he’s sobered up again, when he has a clear head and can think straight again.
But I’ll be there to catch him when he falls.
“Did you get the new bottle?” He slurps on his words. My heart breaks all over again just seeing him in this state. Getting drunk is fine for everyone who’s not fighting an addiction, but for Luan, getting drunk means relapsing, a setback. Relapsing is part of recovery, but I hate it anyway. And I’m not so sure if that still applies after years.
I don’t respond, just walk over to him. He lies between my legs while I stand over him, looking down. Luan’s eyes are closed, and I’m kind of relieved they are because I don’t know what will come out of his mouth when he sees me.
His face is as beautiful as ever, though the bags underneath his eyes tell me all about how awful his past weeks must’ve been. His clothes are covered in what I assume is a healthy mixture of alcohol and old food. Luan’s hair is a mess as well.
Oh, Luan…
I look around his room yet again finding nothing but a pure mess. There are tons of bottles all over the floor and his shelves, telling me that he hasn’t been drinking starting today. It must’ve been days. He has moving boxes all over as well, and it hurts in my heart to know why they’re here.
We were supposed to get them over to New York like two weeks ago.
After a short moment of looking at him and his room, I shake off my nerves, bend over, and grip the neck of the bottle in his arms, ripping it away from him.
“HEY!” Luan’s eyes rip open. He’s ready to reach for the bottle when his eyes set on mine instead, his arms drop immediately.
“Get up,” I say and take a step back so he can sit up. I don’t think he’ll be able to sit up on his own, at least he doesn’t look like he could.
I’m just praying I have enough strength in my one functioning arm to help him up.
“Hello, Grey Davis.” He smiles or tries to. Luan blinks a little weirdly, slowly, and like he’s trying to focus his eyes. Must be nice seeing two of me.
“Sit up, Luan.”
Luan shakes his head. “Nah. I’m good down here.”
Fine. I throw the empty bottle onto his bed then take a seat on the floor. Grasping Luan’s wrist, I pull him up to sit, forcing him to face me. He swings slightly back and forth, not quite being able to keep himself steady.
I guess working out a couple of times a week does come in handy eventually.
“D’you miss me?” he asks, grinning or at least some form of it. I don’t answer. “Aw, Grey Davis, I think you did.”
“Why? Did you miss me?” I can’t really do much except look out for him until he’s sobered up. There’s no magic spell to remove alcohol from his body right now, and even if I made him throw up, there’d still be alcohol in his bloodstream, we’d only get rid of some excess inside of his stomach that hasn’t been absorbed yet. So until he’s sober, I can’t do anything but sit here with him and wait, listening to his drunken babbling. The good thing is, I can say whatever I want because he will not remember a single word tomorrow.
I did think he’d put up more of a fight though. I thought he’d scream at me, demand I let him drink, but he’s surprisingly quiet.
Luan shakes his head. “No, I never loved you anyway so…”
Okay, ouch. Still, I don’t believe him. “I’m going to ask you again, and this time you’ll say the truth, okay?”
“I will?”
“Yes. So, did you miss me?”
He nods. “I should’ve never broken up with you.”
Now that’s something we both agree on, I guess. Especially since I’m only now finding out he broke up with me.
I shouldn’t ask because right now, whatever he says, his words may be true words, but he can’t really control what he lets out. And still… “Then why did you?”
Luan blows out some air, then rubs the back of his hand over his nose like he’s wiping it. “Because of your dad.”