***
Matthew’s shoulders shook with his laughter. “Blazes, Jasmine. I won’t debauch you in front of my family.” He opened his arms to her. “I want toholdyou.”
She pouted. “You could be clearer with your words.”
“I like making you blush,” he teased. “And don’t call it the marital act.”
“What should I call it?”
“I’ll teach you the proper words for it later. For now, indulge me.”
She removed her bonnet and placed it near his feet. Her raven hair fluttered in the light breeze, and he wanted to remove her pins and run his fingers through those silky locks.
She shuffled to kneel between his legs. Tentatively, she reached one hand to hover over his shoulder, then back to her body. She pursed her lips as if solving a complex puzzle. After a while, she gave an exasperated sigh. “How?”
His eyes widened. “You don’t know how to be held?”
“I’ve never been held like that.” Face flaming, she averted her gaze. “Maybe when I was a child.”
“That won’t do at all. We’re an affectionate family, we hug often. I’ll show you how.” He twirled his finger. “Turn around, and sit with your legs out.”
He sat behind her and gently tried to encourage her to lean back, but she resisted.He frowned. Though he had held her moments before, the intimacy of this hold made her stiffen. After having her under him and helping her fire a weapon,she couldn’t abide his nearness? As hurt entered his heart—her shoulder trembled, so slight someone else might have missed it.
Ah.
He had it all wrong.
With all of her bravado, was it possible that his confident, quick-cutting Jasmine was afraid to be held with love? He reminded himself that he wasn’t only her first kiss…
I’ll be her first everything.
What came naturally to him was foreign to her. Having never seduced a virgin, he hadn’t considered how Jasmine might feel in the arms of a known rake.He never would have imagined she might feel insecure. With her scrunched nose and a wrinkle to her brow, he could almost hear the same thoughts churning through her mind.
“Stop overthinking,” he soothed, speaking tobothof them. “Relax.”
Rubbing her shoulders, he kneaded softly into her tense flesh. Her breath hitched, then she released an inaudible sigh—a rumble he felt through her throat. As she acclimated to his touch, she relaxed her shoulders, surrendering as he worked out the knots in her muscles.
She hummed. “That feels good.”
“I’ll do this whenever you want.” He bit the inside of his cheek to push down the thought of giving her a back massage.
When she lay languid against him, Matthew rested one hand on her knee, and the other on her belly. Her breath rose and fluttered under his fingertips. Still nervous, but getting better. One day, this would be easier. In the meantime, he needed to be patient.
Don’t overwhelm her.
In the silence between them, the sounds of gunfire and laughter carried over from his family. Sunlight filtered through the umbrella, casting an ocean-blue shadow over them. As if in a cove of their own, he lost himself to the delicate waves of her breathing. Warmth bloomed in his heart. Finally—finally—she lay in his arms, completing him.
After some time, Jasmine tilted her head onto his shoulder. Her chocolate eyes met his sheepishly. “Am I doing this right?”
“You’re doing splendidly.” He kissed her temple. “Tell me, do you sleep on your side, or on your back?”
“On my side. Why?”
“I sleep on my side too.” He nuzzled his nose against her cheek. “When we’re married, we’ll sleep like this every night. Or maybe with your head on my chest, we’ll find something that works for us.”
“You’ll wish to share a bed?” With a throaty whisper, she asked, “Everynight?”
“Mhm.” He placed a gentle kiss on her neck, and she shivered against him. He lowered his voice. “I’ll insist.”