“Because you’refriends.”
“I’ve certainly made him believe so,” he whispered. “Maybe too well.”
“What does Duke Kendall hold over you?”
He sighed—long and controlled—but his heart beat faster under her ear.
“Let’s not discuss it tonight. We’ve been through enough.”
“No, I want it out of the way. I need to know everything, Matthew. No more secrets.”
For a long moment, he was silent, and she worried he might notanswer. When he spoke, his voice trailed.
“I don’t know how much you remember about my trial, but the House of Lords had it out for me from the start. Thrashing Seth earned me a reputation for violence, and everyone knew I hated Bishop. A family feud was motive enough, and the only witnesses were my ruined sister and bastard brother-in-law…”
He paused, and she allowed him time to collect his thoughts.
“Right away, Blackmoor submitted a journal as evidence, where Sir Reginald outlined his plans for killing Cassandra. The last entry was wet. There were inconsistencies. It was rightfully questioned.”
“Why include it at all, if it was such an obvious forgery?”
“That’s the thing. Blackmoor swears the journal is legitimate. He hides information from us, but he doesn’t lie. I’ve never seen the journal—not that I would know Sir Reginald’s handwriting.” He sighed. “But Duke Kendall did. They corresponded often, and he was asked to testify.”
“And he vouched for it,” Jasmine whispered.
“Not for free,” Matthew said. “Before he took the stand, Duke Kendall came to me, and said he would help me, but only if I gave him thefullstory. Not the version the newspapers printed.”
He paused, and she waited for him to collect himself.
“He wanted details. What horror looked like on Cassandra’s face. How loud she screamed. What gunpowder and blood smelled like in winter air. How itfeltto murder someone, and whether or not I enjoyed it.” Trembling, he continued, “I thought I was facing the gallows, so I told him everything. That Cassandra screamed louder than the gunshot. How killing a man was no different than killing a dog—and it smelled the same. That I was relieved when he died, and that if given another chance I would do it again.”
Jasmine’s breath caught, and a shiver traveled up her spine. “You only killed him because you were protecting Cassandra.”
“No, I wanted him dead. He could have dropped the weapon, and I still would have shot him,” he said hoarsely. “He lowered his pistol, Ihadthe shot to disarm him, but I waited until Cassandra was clear and I aimed for his head. That is what I do for myfamily.”
Jasmine’s heart broke for him.
“You’ve been living with this burden alone,” she whispered. “This regret—”
“I don’t regret it,” he ground out. “I’m not like Seth—I don’t have nightmares and wake up screaming. I sleep better knowing he’s dead. What kind of man does that make me? I’m no better than Duke Kendall.”
“That doesn’t make you a bad person. You had the chance to kill Duke Kendall tonight, but you didn’t—you kept me safe.”
“I’m no different. I have another confession to make.” He separated from her, bowed his head, then spoke so low she almost didn’t hear him. “I forced you into this courtship.”
“No, you didn’t.” She sat up and reached for him. “I proposed toyou, remember?”
“Because I left you with no other option.” He leaned away from her touch. “I followed you to the wine cellar to seduce you—expecting we would be caught.” Guilt poured from his voice. “After I kissed you, I changed my mind, but it was too late. The door—”
“I locked the door,” she blurted out. “I had the key, and I locked us in. You didn’t trap me, I trappedyou.”
Matthew’s jaw slackened. Jasmine’s stomach churned.
“You locked us in,” he repeated numbly. “Why?”
She winced, as if peeling back a bandage to learn the wound hadn’t healed. They were airing everything out. She needed to be honest with him.
“I had missed you so much, and the attraction was there.You said you had low standards for a wife—anyone would have done. We were friends. I trusted you.” Each word made her feel more and more wretched. “I hadn’t been able to fall in love, and you were—”