Apparently, today was also the day the final deposit was due for the space-themed play museum downtown, which he learned when Pam handed him a paper with a balance and said, “pay that,” after the girl disappeared to the back for some cake samples.
Adair blinked at the number.
“Wait, when was this booked?”
Pam didn’t even look up from her phone. “A month ago.”
“And no one thought to tell me?”
“Well,” Pam finally met his eyes. “Excuseusfor doing what’s been done for the lastsixyears of his life.”
Adair clenched his jaw.
“You want honesty?” she continued. “Sabine’s always planned his parties. Every single one. You just be there smiling for the pictures. And I love you, baby but let’s not act brand new now.”
Adair said nothing. Not because she was wrong but because shewasn’t.He wasn’t a bad father. He showed up. He paid for things. He made Ade’s lunches on his weeks, read the bedtime books, played Legos on the floor until his back cracked, however, when it came tostuff like this—the details, the coordination, the RSVPs, the cake flavors—he’d never had to do it.
Sabine handled it.
Then Pam.
Now both.
Adair exhaled and looked down at the invoice again. He’d pay it with no hesitation, something just felt…wrong about the role he played, or just now realizing he played.
“I’m not trying to be a ghost in my kid’s life,” he said quietly.
“Nobody said you were,” Pam softened just a little. She could be really hard on Adair. Once he decided he wanted to be a man and start a family so young, she didn’t lift her foot off his neck. Her daughter in law and grandson deserved his best and she would ensure they got it, however, sometimes she had to remind herself that this was also her baby too. “But showing up ain’t the same asholding it down,son.You know how many times Sabine been up till two in the morning figuring out favors or allergy-safe snacks? You think that bounce house booked itself last year?”
He didn’t.
He just never thought about it.
And now that she was working more, pitching to major clients, building out her software, missing a few pickups—nowhe was noticing the parts she used to carry without complaint.
Now they were just...being carried by someone else.
Adair went to the site provided on the form and paid the deposit for the venue right then and there. Then stepped outside to get some air. The sky was gray, but bright. That kind of early spring weather where everything felt almost new.
He didn’t feel like a bad father.
But for the first time in a long time?
Heunderstoodwhy it might feel that way to someone else.
Pam followed him out a minute later. He was leaning against the passenger side of his car, arms folded across his chest, jaw tight, eyes on nothing. She didn’t say anything right away. Just stood next to him for a few quiet minutes.
“I wasn’t tryna make you feel bad, son,” she said finally. Adair gave a small nod but didn’t speak. “You feel like I said you a bad father.”
He didn’t deny it. “Yea.”
“Well,” she said gently, “then maybe that’s what you needed to feel.”
That made him look at her. Not angry—just wounded.
“I know you love that boy,” Pam went on. “Ain’t never been a question about that but loving your child and showing up for thefull loadof what they need? That’s not the same.”
Adair rubbed a hand over his jaw, exhaling. “I didn’t know there was so much I didn’t see.”