Sabine nodded slowly. “I want to be clear though…she didn’t ruin us. That was allyourdoing. I’m not shunning her while dismissing the part you played. I just…I just don’t want to see the physical being behind part of your betrayal.”
Adair reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers.
“She didn’t ruin us,” Sabine repeated, quieter now. “You did that, Adair.”
“I know and I take full responsibility for what I did. Every bit of it.”
“You should.”
“I do baby.”
Sabine didn’t cry. Didn’t shout. Her voice held no venom. Just tired truth. “But I still don’t want to see the bitch that helped.”
Adair brought her knuckles to his lips—he knew what she needed to hear. No bullshit. Simply his vulnerable truth even if it hurt them both.
“She meant nothing, Bine. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t even sex half the time. Just…head in my office when I was spiraling. A drunk ass night. A stupid mistake but it wasn’t about her. It was about me being fucked up. About me grieving the wrong way. About me trying to punish you for leaving when I should’ve been punishing myself for letting you go…she…she saw me spiraling and didn’t care what version of me she got and I let her. Because I thought if someone could stomach me like that, I didn’t have to fix it. Didn’t have to face what I’d become.”
Sabine didn’t move. Just lay there. Listening.
“I want you back,” he said. “I want our family. I want to show you I can be the man I was supposed to be. The man you needed me to be when it mattered.”
“How do I trust that?” Sabine’s voice cracked.
“You don’t,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along her cheek. “Not yet but you can watch me prove it. Every day. Every meeting. Every contract. Every night. I’ll earn it back. I swear.”
Scoffing, Sabine sighed heavily. “I don’t want to see her,” she said again, more strained now. “So y’all just ended up at the same firm?”
Adair exhaled, chest tightening under her cheek.
“No. You know I left our old firm not long after you came back here because I couldn’t be away from Ade…away from you. I needed a clean start anyway. Somewhere I didn’t have to see the version of myself I hated.” He paused, hand stroking slow lines down her spine. “She wasn’t part of the transition,” he said softly. “Didn’t recommend her. Didn’t tell her shit. Two months in, she showed up out the blue, said she’d been headhunted and didn’t know I worked there until she started onboarding. I still don’t believe her ass.”
Sabine gave him a skeptical look, stiffening then slightly.
“Of course she did. You must’ve fucked her that good, huh?” she scoffed, and Adair inhaled deeply not wanting this to turn into a fight. He knew this was burning her up inside. They’d never openly talked about everything like this. He exhaled slowly, trying to keep the slow progression from quickly regressing.
“It was never love. Not even close. Not even comfort. We fucked, she sucked my dick a couple times. That was it. Nothing face to face. Nothing vulnerable. Just...a mess. I didn’t care about her before, during, or after.”
“And that’s supposed to make it better?”
“No,” he said honestly. “It’s not but it’s the truth. I never wanted her. I wanted you. Even when I was fucking up, I was still yours. I just didn’t know how to be good enough and I failed as your husband to come to you with those feelings,” his voice gentler now, not defensive. “You have every right to feel how you feel, Bine. I would too, if it were me. I’m not here to make excuses or argue about what you’re holding. I just…” he sighed, brushing his thumb along the inside of her wrist. “I didn’t bringher there. I didn’t even know she was coming and I swear to God, if I could trade places with anyone else in that boardroom so you never had to see her again, I would.” His voice dropped lower, sincere. “She don’t matter. She never did. But you? Youalwayshave.”
“I…I don’t want to lock eyes with the woman who was there, who waited her turn while I buried my daughter. I know it wasn’t her fault, but I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to see her,” she said again, softer now.
Adair reached for her hand again, bringing it to his lips, kissing each knuckle one by one. “I promise to make this as painless for you as possible baby. She’ll be there but she won’t even be in the room. This is about you and Aderra.”
“I just want to do my work,” she said. “I want to build something that matters. Something that doesn’t come with her shadow behind it.”
“You are,” he said, kissing her wrist this time. “You’re building something brilliant. Something only you could birth and nothing, not Corrine, not me, not any of this, can take that from you.Youmade all this possible. Created job opportunities too. I’m just grateful I can be a witness. I get to stand back and make sure nobody touches what you made. That’s my honor, not my right.”
“You always said the right shit after the damage was already done.” Sabine rolled her eyes, shoving him a bit.
“I know,” he murmured as they shared a small laugh. “But I’m learning how to say itwhile I’m standing here still loving you.While I still got the chance to make it count.”
Sabine didn’t respond right away just shifted, pulling the sheet higher over their tangled bodies. Adair tucked her tighter beneath his chin, one arm coiled around her waist, the other tracing slow hearts against her hip.
“I don’t know if I can ever love you the same again,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to love me the same,” he said. “Just don’t stop…please…don’t stop.”